In my outdoor nature class I pointed out some lichen growing on granite and taught them the mnemonic β€œFreddie fungus took a likin’ to Alice algae” to teach them about the symbiotic relationship. One 5th grade boy responded

β€œLooks like their relationship is on the rocks.” He’ll make a great dad some day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tahuff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2022
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The intruder jumped me in the kitchen, but I hit him with my granite top.

It was a counter attack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2022
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Pome-granite
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reallysaltmemes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2021
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I tell myself take nothing for granite and be a little Boulder everyday.

My last name is Stone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jjstone78
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I traded a piece of granite for a piece of marble

It was a pretty hard bargain

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpicyEpicGamer69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What was the man who installs granite tops in Kitchens charge with?

Counterfeiting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_sobe87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.

I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to push you around, yeah I will. I want to push you down, yeah I will. I want to take you for granite, yeah yeah yeah...

Rob Thomas volunteers to help the wheel chair bound elderly remodel their kitchen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_LumberZack_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my wife that I would never take her for granite.

Though, I probably would for marble.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhench78
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A group of leprechauns was recently busted for selling fake granite

Yeah, they were sham rocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Taking Things 4 Granite
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5LYNG3R
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t take this igneous sediment for Granite
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuma_Paws_376
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
After he installs the new granite surfaces in your kitchen, does the Cabinet Maker hand you

a counter fit bill?

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
🚨︎ report
You shouldn’t take things for Granite, because nothing is set in stone
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pasta-hobo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Geologists often take things for granite.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwndabeer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I installed the granite in the kitchen all by myself.

It was counterproductive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I take my countertops for granite -raccooneggs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sket-warrior
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad can't stop talking about getting granite tiles for our flooring

Probably because he has lost his marble(s).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/floorballouis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Ya know guys, today is a gneiss day, don’t take it for granite.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhobbs62
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were stuck behind a van advertising granite countertops.

Wife: Those look good. I'd kill to have our counters redone.

Me: Sure...but then you'd be taking life for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictoriousBadger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
🚨︎ report
There are just some signs in life you should take for Granite
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumanGyroscope
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Our countertops are made of cement, but I always took it for granite.
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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These headstones are not to be taken for granite
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arionhawk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2017
🚨︎ report
If we used igneous rock as currency we’d take everything for granite.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/e_pilot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What would you call the sun if it was made of granite and heavy metals?

A rock star...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/code_engine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A man that we all take for granite
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolkittiez
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2013
🚨︎ report
Just want you to know... I can see that you've been under a lot of pressure for a while now. But you are a rock, and I don't take you for granite.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandJA1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Granite Branch

So my friend got a job managing a branch for a granite company. And whilst telling my father he dadjoked me pretty hard.

Me: Ya he is managing a granite branch or something.

Dad: Well then, I was not aware that granite grew on trees...

Needless to say i wasn't expecting it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAllMightyGulb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2014
🚨︎ report

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