Oh My Gourd! I Made These Gift Card Holders!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MosswoodMama
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Lucha-gourd
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amandabomb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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What do you call several gourds related to each other?

Pump kin

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JumpinJaccFlash
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Gourd on Ram C
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AppropriateTomato
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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Gourd to know !
πŸ‘︎ 285
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mummy_ka_chappal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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What do you call the leader of the gourds?

PUMPKING

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sryIwashacked
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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Must've forgot my gourd again
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnydoe345
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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Gourd on Ramsay
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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This afternoon I pulled two fat gourds from the same vine...

They were plumpkin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SiLifino
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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What do you call a person who identifies as a gourd?

A Pump-Kin!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsmoeyo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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What do you call a gourd’s relatives?

Pump-kin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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90% of the pumpkins in the USA are raised within a ninety mile radius of Peoria, Illinois. That's gourd to know.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2016
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What did the gourd say to the other gourd after running into each other?

Sorry for Pumpkin in to you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gari_23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2016
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Oh my gourd...

My wife was ringing up a purchase at a craft store where the customer had purchased many fake pumpkins and other assorted decorative fruits for fall. As the customer unloaded her cart, the gourds kept piling higher, and my wife exclaimed, "I'm feeling a bit squashed!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IBreakCellPhones
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2014
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How to make a delicious pumpkin roll v.redd.it/3b8hzbg5vxs51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PigPopcorn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Squash the beef
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RFSDQ
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Slipped on a pumpkin today

It caught me off gourd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoteppeter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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3 domesticated Rams are in the kitchen, labelled A, B & C

If you put a pumpkin on ram A, nothing happens. If you put a pumpkin on ram B you get the same result.

But if you put a pumpkin on Ram C it starts knocking things off counters, making a mess and abusing the kitchen staff.

I guess that is what happens when you put a gourd on ram c in the kitchen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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This time of year we switch out our old decorative squash for a new one -

It's the traditional changing of the gourd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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I used a pumpkin to summon ghosts.

It was a Ouija Gourd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pshiel23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Three sheep

A chef entered his kitchen one day struggling with holding onto a large pumpkin. He noticed three male sheep standing next to his oven. One of them had a collar on him with the letter β€œA” written on it. The second had a collar with β€œB” and the third had β€œC.” The chef didn’t know what to do with the sheep, and they were standing in front of the only place he could put the pumpkin down. He put the pumpkin on the first sheep’s head and nothing happened. He then put it on the second sheep’s head and again, nothing happened. He then put it on the third sheep’s head, and immediately the sheep started cooking a gourmet meal and swearing at anyone who passed by him.

That’s what happens when you put a gourd on ram C in the kitchen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pensrule2007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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My Uncle had an indoor pumpkin farm.

He had a real gourd complex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ska_For_Brains
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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How does a vegetarian priest start their sermons?

Lettuce pray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CjMcDonald85
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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What did one pumpkin say to the other?

You're looking pretty gourd today!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gr1m_R33f3R
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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I had no idea my wife put a fake mustache on the squash

When I went to grab it, it caught me off gourd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oof_oofo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pae913
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Why did the melon get married?

He Cantaloupe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemesRFunny2Me
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Did you know that the soldiers at Arlington salute their new Jack-o-Lanterns every Halloween?

They always honor the changing of the Gourd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpmbrent
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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To funny not to share
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PachaFerrera
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk

It shall be a security gourd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brad_Barracuda
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Bedtime problems
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πŸ‘€︎ u/halfpeeledbanana
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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What is the prettiest pie?

A pumpkin pie, it’s Gourd-geous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EinarAsgeirsson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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What do you call a night watchman at a pumpkin patch?

Security Gourd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brassman1971
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Vegetable Market
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πŸ‘€︎ u/happy_anand
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...

... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/large__father
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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What does a lion, a giraffe, and an elephant wear to the beach? A...
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tale_of_tejon
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
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Did you hear about the pumpkin seeds that were drilled out, and then left alone with nothing to entertain them?

They were bored out of their gourd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nwhaught
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Son: Dad, did you know they used to carve turnips on Halloween?

Dad: They must have been out of their gourds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/naurugger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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What do you call a group of zombie pumpkins?

A gourd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMcFukmutty
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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What does a surprised pumpkin say?

OH MY GOURD!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cakerzzzz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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What do you call a barking pumpkin?

A gourd dog.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mlnkoly111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What's a bug's most hated vegetable?

Squash.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PluvioBlue
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?

Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grizzlyblur
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.

I told him I’d gourd it with my life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/torchskul
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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Pumpkins are the most beautiful crop.

They're absolutely gourd-geous.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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I'm not a dad but I take after him
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tpengz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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A squash was killed this week.

Witness accounts say he was gourd to death.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blacksheep26
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the pumpkin say when it dropped its baby?

Oh my gourd!

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TortoiseMan510
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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