Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time

The spacebar

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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What’s the opposite of a good time?

Whatever happens in the MEANtime!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Did you know Father Time is actually really good at boxing?

Yeah, he can clock you a good one.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"

The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Sparkling good time

Why did the soda crusher quit his job?

. . . It was soda pressing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trailerslumlord
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire. v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brystander
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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I'm looking to sell my Delorean. Good shape, low mileage... Only driven from time to time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlakthusDisko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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My dad says the only difference between a good meal and a good time..

is where you put the cucumber..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoreyReynolds
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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I was in the pub having a drink when a girl came up to me and said she can show me a good time. So I followed her out the back where she took off her top...

...and she ran 100m in 10 seconds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Especially if it's a good book that makes you lose track of the time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devanshi1618
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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My wife told me I wasn't very good at listening - that it was time to make some changes and she needed some distance.

So I bought her an alarm clock with a remote control.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?

A square dance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadacolt45
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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The aviary I visited had many birds but none of what I really wanted to see. I had a good time anyway.

No egrets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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How did Michael Jackson know when his girlfriend was having a good time during sex?

She-moan-a

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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I’m sure he’ll have an otterly good time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notyahmothas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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GF: "You made good time today"

Me: "I only use the best ingredients"

gf gives me a look

GF: "Ingredients for time?"

Me: "I never use tardy sauce"

gf leaves room

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πŸ‘€︎ u/droptheone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
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The only good time to yell β€œI have diarrhea” is when

you are playing Scrabble.

It's worth a shitload of points.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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He had a good time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/endortech
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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If bus routes were teenagers and time was drugs, my bus would be a really good kid.

Because let me tell you, it is never on time.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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I know a good way to kill time

Grab a clock and beat it with a baseball bat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/romanator25
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Sometimes, I have a hard time coming up with a good joke.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andyh10s
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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A recent study shows that watching Bohemian Rhapsody multiple times might not be good for your health.

Because of the unusually high Mercury content.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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Once upon a time an evil witch decided to curse a young prince into a bear. The cursed prince sought help from a good wizard, but he refused. Why?

The prince was unbearable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keksyz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Friend: My mouth burned the whole time cause my dad made me eat this hot pepper in exchange for the show ticket. Wasn’t even a good show.

Me: You just really ate to see it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderZ__
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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I went to that circle of infant male pigs expecting to have a good time but...

It was a little boar ring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrolightning
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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I need your advice I have this friend. Our relationship is very unstable. Sometimes we have a very good connections and at other times we have a pretty bad connection.

Her name is Wi-Fi BTW

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trollinaintezy
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Which state in the US has people saying good morning all the time?

Ohio.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YuHaoLevi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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I know I'll always have a good time at any beach.

It's a shore thing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BreakBye
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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Even good harmonica players suck half the time...

And when they don't suck they blow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TmickyD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2015
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I just made a list of my all time favourite dad jokes. The first 4 are pretty good but the last one's absolute gold.
  1. pretty good
  2. pretty good
  3. pretty good
  4. pretty good
  5. absolute gold
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tempsilon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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Let the good times roll v.redd.it/2xpggrde4o701
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punchki
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
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Beer is a good friend. We both get drunk at the same time.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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I'm having a hard time finding a good pair of camouflage pants.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
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We don't knead dough to have a good time.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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Do you recall that film that was kinda like A Bug's Life and came out at the same sort of time as A Bug's Life but wasn't nearly as good as A Bug's Life?

Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wigglesface
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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My wife made me wait a good long time with my friends at the pool before I realized she wasn’t coming with my towel...

You could say she left me hanging out to dry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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I've always had a good time hanging out with gynecologists

They really bring out the child in you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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I went to a crater convention expecting to have a good time

It ended up being the pits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Supadude51
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
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Bonheur is French for happiness. Boner is English for a good time. Coincidence?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electricdog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
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The time of year: Lent, itself, to Good Friday puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemol
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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Where's a good place for birds to buy tools and alcoholic beverages at the same time?

The Crow Bar

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
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An old one but still good. What time is my dentists appointment?

2:30

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lieghannsheriden
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2016
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I love this time of year because I'm really good at wrapping presents

It's one of my gifts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_rub-a-dubstep_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
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I guess no time is too serious for a good dad joke

My brother and I are in the waiting room at the ER while my dad is back in the ER room texting us about what's going on. I wasn't sure if the ER was the same as the ICU. MY. My dad couldn't hold back.

http://imgur.com/sKewAWG

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ottomatictom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
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