Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
What’s the opposite of a good time?
Whatever happens in the MEANtime!
Did you know Father Time is actually really good at boxing?
Yeah, he can clock you a good one.
Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"
The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."
Sparkling good time
Why did the soda crusher quit his job?
.
.
.
It was soda pressing!
If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire.
v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
I'm looking to sell my Delorean. Good shape, low mileage... Only driven from time to time
My dad says the only difference between a good meal and a good time..
is where you put the cucumber..
I was in the pub having a drink when a girl came up to me and said she can show me a good time. So I followed her out the back where she took off her top...
...and she ran 100m in 10 seconds
Especially if it's a good book that makes you lose track of the time
My wife told me I wasn't very good at listening - that it was time to make some changes and she needed some distance.
So I bought her an alarm clock with a remote control.
From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?
The aviary I visited had many birds but none of what I really wanted to see. I had a good time anyway.
How did Michael Jackson know when his girlfriend was having a good time during sex?
I’m sure he’ll have an otterly good time
GF: "You made good time today"
Me: "I only use the best ingredients"
gf gives me a look
GF: "Ingredients for time?"
Me: "I never use tardy sauce"
gf leaves room
The only good time to yell “I have diarrhea” is when
you are playing Scrabble.
It's worth a shitload of points.
If bus routes were teenagers and time was drugs, my bus would be a really good kid.
Because let me tell you, it is never on time.
I know a good way to kill time
Grab a clock and beat it with a baseball bat
Sometimes, I have a hard time coming up with a good joke.
A recent study shows that watching Bohemian Rhapsody multiple times might not be good for your health.
Because of the unusually high Mercury content.
Once upon a time an evil witch decided to curse a young prince into a bear. The cursed prince sought help from a good wizard, but he refused. Why?
The prince was unbearable.
Friend: My mouth burned the whole time cause my dad made me eat this hot pepper in exchange for the show ticket. Wasn’t even a good show.
Me: You just really ate to see it
I went to that circle of infant male pigs expecting to have a good time but...
It was a little boar ring.
I need your advice I have this friend. Our relationship is very unstable. Sometimes we have a very good connections and at other times we have a pretty bad connection.
Which state in the US has people saying good morning all the time?
I know I'll always have a good time at any beach.
Even good harmonica players suck half the time...
And when they don't suck they blow.
I just made a list of my all time favourite dad jokes. The first 4 are pretty good but the last one's absolute gold.
- pretty good
- pretty good
- pretty good
- pretty good
- absolute gold
Beer is a good friend. We both get drunk at the same time.
I'm having a hard time finding a good pair of camouflage pants.
We don't knead dough to have a good time.
Do you recall that film that was kinda like A Bug's Life and came out at the same sort of time as A Bug's Life but wasn't nearly as good as A Bug's Life?
Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day
My wife made me wait a good long time with my friends at the pool before I realized she wasn’t coming with my towel...
You could say she left me hanging out to dry.
I've always had a good time hanging out with gynecologists
They really bring out the child in you.
I went to a crater convention expecting to have a good time
It ended up being the pits
Bonheur is French for happiness. Boner is English for a good time. Coincidence?
The time of year: Lent, itself, to Good Friday puns.
Where's a good place for birds to buy tools and alcoholic beverages at the same time?
An old one but still good. What time is my dentists appointment?
I love this time of year because I'm really good at wrapping presents
I guess no time is too serious for a good dad joke
My brother and I are in the waiting room at the ER while my dad is back in the ER room texting us about what's going on. I wasn't sure if the ER was the same as the ICU. MY. My dad couldn't hold back.
http://imgur.com/sKewAWG
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