That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Just incase I get a hole in one.
βI play a little guitar!"
He was looking for a tight seal.
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
They are cutting edge technology.
Theyβre pointless.
They decided to call it a day.
The spacebar
"Bargain" the man says.
"Thanks" the woman replies. "That means a great deal."
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
Because they are afraid of them striking
They knead the dough.
He was exhibiting bad brie-havior
Prism
Some nights I feel like a cop chasing a robber trying to catch her so I can put her to sleep, as she βsteelsβ away in various rooms of the house...
You could say sheβs βevading a-restβ...
Son: I canβt.
Me: And why not?
Son: Because itβs too heavy!
Julyed.
He went data way
What are the best 'ice puns'? Trying to name a project in opposition to U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement, or ICE. Ideas needed. Thx in advance ππΌ Have a punderful day!
Undercover.
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
Heβs my spirit guide.
Edit: Thanks guys.
He wanted fast food
Egypt his tooth.
You just sleep at night.
My boss's kid told told him this this morning. lol
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
I bet there would be hell toupee.
Kamala finishes in just under twelve minutes and Joe is already waiting for her at the finish line.
"How'd you do?" she asks him.
"I finished in 10 minutes and 46 seconds. That's got to be a new record among Presidents, right?"
"No" Kamala replies. "Bush did 9:11".
https://preview.redd.it/1gkriwhk5be61.png?width=644&format=png&auto=webp&s=c141fac5d8dc8b81ebcad13ff6e64f1a4b65da78
BARKley...
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
To get a koalafication
Others, whenever they go.
He was there to see a chicken strip
His inboks
Because itβs FOR BIDEN
....you need to get away from.
but it always ends up two in tents
Too much inflation
I wanna be sedated.
No son, I'm resisting-a-rest.
I said βas far as you walk with them.β
