Propmaster ducks out with 3 puns in succession youtu.be/xl89HhusW4c?t=35
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Syllogism19
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Why do ducks hate eating out with friends?

They always get stuck with the bill.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josentangles
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Ducks really cannot handle being stressed out

They quack under pressure

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/metalsgt90
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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Autocorrect screws up so much, I'm just fresh out of ducks to give.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/robuttocks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Why was the duck kicked out of his psychology lecture.

He kept calling the professor a quack.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/StormtrooperMJS
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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I donโ€™t know how to make good titles so Iโ€™m writing this to duck out of the responsibility of entertaining you.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/A-Pork-Chop-57
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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What do you call someone who carves ducks out of stone?

Username checks out

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/drake_mason
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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What's the best part about going out to eat with a duck?

He's always stuck with the bill.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NotTobyFromHR
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.

Now I can't read it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brucemoose1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Duck hunting

2 guys went duck hunting. They were out there all day and didn't get a single duck. One turns to the other and says I don't understand why we haven't gotten anything yet. The other guy says I don't know, maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/syhendrickson
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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A man walks in to a bar. On the bar is a duck tap dancing on a biscuit tin.

He is amazed and wants to buy the duck. The man refuses at first but eventually agreed. As the man walks out of the bar the now owner of the duck shouts. Excuse me how do i stop the duck tap dancing. Simple says the man lift up the tin and blow out the candle......

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tiger7971
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Warning!

Be aware We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I won't name them) I went to pick it up last night and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!WTF??!!! I thought what the hell is that. Has something got in the bag, I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ... And there it was ... ... A Peeking Duck!!!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Weedwacker01
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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The set up sucks but I thought it was pretty smart

A man makes an outline of a duck and cuts it out. An egg falls right in the middle. Now he has an egg in stencil crisis

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nojuicing
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I APOLOGIZE IF THIS HAS BEEN POSTED ALREADY

A man with a sack walks into a bar. He orders his first drink. The bartender asks, โ€œWhatโ€™s in that sack?โ€ The man replies. Itโ€™s nothing, donโ€™t worry about it. Later in the night, the man orders another drink. The bartender asks again, โ€œWhatโ€™s in the sack?โ€ The man again replies, โ€œItโ€™s nothing worth seeing, donโ€™t worry.โ€ Later, the man comes up for his third drink. The bartender says, โ€œLook, if you show me whats in that sack, Iโ€™ll give you a free drink. Whatever you want.โ€ The man thinks for a moment, and opens the sack. He pulls out a tiny man, and a tiny piano. The tiny man starts playing the tiny piano. The bartender, surprised, asks, โ€œWow! Whereโ€™d you get this guy?โ€ The man pulls out a magic lamp from the sack. โ€œThis thing. It can grant any wish. But the wish wonโ€™t be 100% accurate.โ€ The bartender asks, โ€œCan I try it out?โ€ The man gives the magic lamp to the bartender. โ€œI wish I had 100 bucks.โ€ A few seconds later, 100 ducks waddle into the bar. The bartender says, โ€œYouโ€™re right. This thing isnt very accurateโ€ The man says, โ€œI know. did you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/arandomduckdog
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Wanted to share a funny Dad joke my wife perfectly set up for me, today.

My wife and I were visiting Bass Pro Shop today and I noticed there were some ducks in the pond outside of the building. I pointed them out to my wife who, upon noticing them bobbing up and down in the water, asked me what they were doing. Without missing a beat I replied "They're Ducking."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Uglarinn
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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A duck walks into a bar...

A duck walks into a bar. He says, "Hey bartender, can I get a beer?" Bartender says, "We don't serve ducks here. Get out!

The next day, the duck comes back and says, "Hey bartender, can I get a beer?" Bartender says, "I told you yesterday - we don't serve ducks! If you come back here again I'm going to nail your feet to the bar! Get out!

The next day the duck comes back again and says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." And the duck says, " Can I get a beer?"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AquavelvaGigi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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A Joke for the Hard of Hearing

A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. Where did he come from?" The friend pulls out an old lamp and tells him the genie inside will grant him one wish. The man rubs the bottle, and to his amazement, a puff of purple smoke spews out and slowly collects in the form of a genie. In a booming voice the genie tells the man he has but one wish. The man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks." All of a sudden the bar is filled with ducks, bursting from the door and the windows, standing on top of the bar, dunking their heads into peopleโ€™s drinks. โ€œWhat just happened?!โ€ the guy asks. His friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cool-kid103
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donโ€™t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

โ€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, โ€˜The good news is..itโ€™ll feel better when it quits hurting.'โ€

Whatโ€™s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

โ€œIโ€™ll call you later!โ€- โ€œPlease donโ€™t do that. Iโ€™ve always asked you to call me Dad!โ€

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

โ€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: โ€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.โ€™โ€

โ€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, โ€˜No, just leave it in the carton!โ€™โ€

I got so angry the other day when I couldnโ€™t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book Iโ€™ve ever read, Iโ€™d say: โ€œWow, thatโ€™s coincidental.โ€

Iโ€™m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build itโ€™s house? Igloos it together.

โ€œMe: โ€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!โ€™ Dad: โ€˜Poof, Youโ€™re a sandwich!โ€™โ€

โ€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

โ€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Theyโ€™re all girls, otherwise theyโ€™d be uncles.โ€

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth โ€“ its pasteurized before you even see it

โ€œWhatโ€™s Forrest Gumpโ€™s password? 1forrest1โ€

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: โ€œDonโ€™t worry; this is a piece of cake.โ€ I said: โ€œNo, itโ€™s a math problem.โ€

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I donโ€™t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Iโ€™m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weeb123xD
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
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The issue with duck eggs.

Two farmers, Ben and Dave, are discussing their produce. Ben mentions that there has been a strange recent demand in duck eggs, and is going to begin producing them. Dave replies that he tried to produce them long ago, but had to stop due to issues with their delivery.

"What issues?" Asks Ben, with a confused expression on his face.

"They caused way too much mess in the delivery truck," Dave explains, "You'll find out soon enough, duck eggs quack really easily."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rapidToothbrush
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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Autocorrect was my pal on this one

My girlfriend was texting me from a different city and said "The weather app said it would be cold today yet it's ducking 73 out here and I'm wearing a sweater."

I hit her with the "Geese babe, that seriously isn't pheasant at all..."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ouipareils
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 25 2015
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Two friends are out at the lake..

One of the guys pulls out this really, really long lighter. And his friend says, "Hey, that's a cool lighter. Where'd you get it?" He says, "Oh, I've got this magic genie in a lamp. You know, rub the lamp, get a wish." Friend goes, "Well shit, man! Don't hold out! I want a wish!" "Okay, man, but I have to warn you.. This genie is *really* old.." "All right, whatever, just give me a wish." So he rubs the lamp, the genie comes out, and grants him a wish. He says, "I want a million bucks!" "Your wish is granted," says the genie, he disappears into the lamp, and suddenly a million *ducks* descend upon this lake. The guy is baffled and says, "Hey, what's the deal? I asked for a million *bucks*, not a million *ducks*.." His friend replies, "Dude, you think I asked for a 12-inch *Bic*?"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Why do ducks have flat feet?

For stomping out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

For stomping out burning ducks.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/89iroc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Dad joked my sister, got a dad nod of approval.

My dad, sister and I were driving in the car when she pointed out a construction site.

Her: "They're putting in a Duck Donuts over there." Me: "Oh. I heard they're not going to take credit cards." H: "What? Why not?" M: "I don't know, but they'll only take bills."

Took her a few seconds to get it. Dad just looked at me and nodded.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheFarLeft
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
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My mom pulled the best dad joke I've ever heard at a Chinese restaurant the other day

Her friend had come along with us to the buffet and was eating something that I can't quite remember now, but she ends up asking "where is the duck sauce?" To which my mom, without even skipping a beat, blurted out the following words with not a single emotion on her face, "probably next to the quackers". I almost choked on my food I was laughing so hard. Love you mom

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Deal_The_Man
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 13 2014
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnโ€™t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? โ€œMy Fare, Ladyโ€.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physicianโ€™s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


โ€œWhatโ€™s purple and 5000 miles long?โ€ โ€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!โ€


Every calendarโ€™s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. โ€œFour bucks,โ€ says the bartender. โ€œPut it on my bill.โ€


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When heโ€™s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle canโ€™t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyโ€™d be alloys.


The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.


If youโ€™re not part of the solution, youโ€™re part of the precipitate.


A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, โ€œNo, Iโ€™m traveling light.โ€


Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because youโ€™re talking nonsense!


How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.


What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโ€™s 0K now.


I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says โ€œI think Iโ€™ll have an H2O.โ€ The second one says โ€œI think Iโ€™ll have an H2O tooโ€ โ€” and he died.


A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.


Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


What element is a girlโ€™s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your โ€œstyle.โ€


Iโ€™m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I canโ€™t put it down.


I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnโ€™t seem to be gaining momentum.


Why canโ€™t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they donโ€™t believe in higher powers.


Schrodingerโ€™s cat walks into a bar. And doesnโ€™t.


Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.


What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!


A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies โ€œFor you, no chargeโ€.


Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: โ€œOh, no, I think I lost an electron.โ€ โ€œAre you sure?โ€

โ€œYe

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Halloween Puns

Why couldnโ€™t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.


Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!


Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!


For Halloween Iโ€™m going to write โ€œLifeโ€ on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers


This Halloween, the only Candy Iโ€™m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues


โ€œHalloweenโ€ = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.


Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!


Iโ€™ll be your trick if youโ€™ll be my treat.


How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!


When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day


Whatโ€™s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!


What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood


What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us


What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A โ€œhollow-weenie!โ€


Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).


How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.



Iโ€™m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always doโ€ฆ by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, โ€œA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?โ€ The other monster replied, โ€œBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.


The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something youโ€™re not will lead to a sweet reward.


I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, itโ€™s Election night.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so Iโ€™m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.


What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!


What do Italianโ€™s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)


Why canโ€™t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.


What do goblins and ghosts drink when theyโ€™re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!


What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi


What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope itโ€™s Halloween!!


What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2017
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x-post from /r/talesfromretail. Customer was classic /r/dadjoke material.

I apologize for this wall of text, I didn't know where I should cut out parts because they're all relevant to the story. Sorry again.

Hey TFR people! So for background, I work at a kiosk in a mall where I repair cracked phones and do other mind numbing work that I can now probably do in my sleep. I've been doing this job for a little over two years and can fix an iPhone, for example, in about 15 minutes. I apologize for the wall of text. Anyway, this story happened last night.

So, a family of three walk up (mother, father and daughter) but only the father spoke to me and this is where conversation starts. Note: When I was handed this girls phone she had a case with this image on it and was already about to laugh. Customer will be C and I of course will be Me.

C: How much does it cost to fix my daughters phone and can it be fixed?

Me: Oh it's very repairable, after tax and labor, it comes to $xxx.xx.

C: Do it

Fuck, he's one of these guys...

Me: Alright then, I just need a name and signature on this disclaimer we have.

At this point, I've taken their phone and am prepping to work on it.

C: Do I have to use my real name?

PAUSE Now, over the 2+ years I've worked here, I have never heard this question. So I was kind of taken by surprise by it. For a minute, I thought he was one of those paranoid people. PLAY

Me: Um.. Well I guess you don't have to. It's preferred since we can look you up in our system faster later.

C: Oh ok.

I turn back around and start to use my tools on the phone when customer guy throws me another curve ball question.

C: Can my daughter still play the piano when this is done?

I manage to turn and see him smirking a little and go back to his serious poker face so I pick up that he's joking.

Me: Well I would hope so. Slight laughter

C: Oh ok great! She's never even touched one before so it's good to hear her skill won't change in the slightest.

I'm on the verge of outright laughing at this point. I manage to hold it back and finish my repair. I snap her grumpy cat case back on, hand her phone back when she mentions the home button isn't working.

Oh that's an easy fix

Me: Ah, don't worry. Give me one second and I'll have that fixed.

C: One. Try it now "Insert girls name"

Me: Haha well I haven't done what I need to yet.

I pull out a giant clear bag half full of spare parts.

**

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CountBlah_Blah
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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Let me tell you a story about making wise choices...

In high school my very best friend and I snuck out and went looking for fun. We were really fired up and he hurried ahead and ran straight into the nearest bar. Luckily, I had the good sense to duck.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LeopoldLoeb
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 20 2016
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Playing golf last weekend with my father.

At the tee box about 15 yards in front of us were some ducks. I teed off and hit the ball fairly low and came pretty close to hitting one. My dad said, "good thing he ducked to get out of the way."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gingersluck
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2016
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My wife just got me with this one

I'm combing my beard in the other room and my wife calls out

"Hey, Jesuswig, could you get me a duck doo?"

"What the heck is a duck doo?"

"QUACK!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jesuswig
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 15 2016
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Dad Giveaway

Had a dad-spotting while walking through the empty hall at school a few minutes ago. A small object rolled out of a door further down the hall followed closely by a stooped over middle-aged professor chasing after it. He nabbed it up just as I was passing by and looked up at me to say, "I've got to get out of here. I'm losing my marbles."

He then laughed to himself and quickly ducked back into the classroom.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ladybadcrumble
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
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Learning to drive...

So, when I was first learning to drive (actually my first time operating the car), my dad was teaching me to control the engine's RPM. However, he likes to troll me every once in awhile; this is what he did. Keep in mind we're parked in our driveway, parking break on, in neutral...

"Alright, weediereedie, you're going to want to hover around 2000 RPM, so I want you to really concentrate on keeping the engine at that speed. Hear what the engine sounds like when you go too far, or go under." I concentrate really intensely, and lose focus on what's going on around me. All of a sudden, my dad shouts in my ear "WATCH OUT THERE'S A TRUCK ABOUT TO CRASH INTO US!!" I immediately duck my head, cry out in fear, and slam my foot on the gas, while my dad cracks up in the passenger seat to the point of tears. Love you, Dad...most of the time :)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weediereedie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2013
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Shaksperean highway exit

So my boyfriend and I were running errands, and my GPS told me to take exit 2B. I wondered aloud:

"I wonder if we're in lane 2B."

Then I realized...

"2B or not 2B. That is the question."

My boyfriend just gave me The Look and made a move to duck and roll out of the car.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Iyoten
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2014
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**** PLEASE BE AWARE ****

We ordered a Chinese last from a local place in downtown (we won't name them) went to pick it up and as I was driving home, heard the bags rustling and moving!!!

I thought what on earth is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.

I was driving so pulled over, I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the chili beef.

I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ...

A Peeking Duck

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/createsean
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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Be vigilant

I hate to do this about a local business but feel you deserve to know. ๐Ÿ˜•

** Be aware **

We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I'm not going to name them) I'd just been to pick it up and as I were driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!! I thought what the hell is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out

I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers!

I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ...

... A Peeking Duck!!!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/beanieboombaby
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Flat feet

My dad gave me this gem when I was little:

Why do ducks have flat feet?

To stomp out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

To stomp out flaming ducks.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 34
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rmathewes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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