Apparently, gluing books to your ceiling is a good way to enhance your learning.

I've been reading up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...

I guess I'll give it the old collage try.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Boss: How's that new glue?

Me: πŸ‘Œ

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup to the roof of my car

Now everyone waves at me

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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A darker one my 10 year old dropped on me... (possibly triggering)

She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.

Hey Dad, you ok?

Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.

"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogalporn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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I just accidentally super-glued my thumb and index finger together!! At first, I started to panic, but then I remembered that...

...it’s always going to be okay...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Get Glued
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShinigamiOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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I finally found a book that I was totally glued to.

It was a family album

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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My friend glued both his hands to his pistols. Everyone told him it was a bad idea, but he insisted they were all wrong.

He's sticking to his guns.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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I accidentally glued myself to a novel that I just finished writing.

Well, thats my story and I’m sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
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I glued my watch to my belt buckle...

Now I can't read it. What a waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxdemonkid13xx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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My author friend claims that he β€˜accidentally’ glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him. reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N4M34RRT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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I glued a small piece of wood to my shirt for my Halloween costume...

...whenever someone asked me what I was, I shrugged my shoulders and said "eh, I'm just a little board."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
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Gorilla Glued

Me: Should I use the Gorilla Glue?

Dad: Did you break your Gorilla?

Me:....

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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My tv was coming apart, so I superglued it back together.

Now I'm glued to the T.V.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Got my wife as she explained something to our toddler.

My wife couldn't open a jar of grape jelly. Our two year old didn't understand why she had to bring it to me. He was only concerned with how long it was taking to make his sandwich. I opened it, but it was pretty hard because the jelly had caked around the threads and dried in place, gluing the lid to the jar.

My wife saw our son getting impatient and told him, "Hold on kiddo, mommy couldn't open the jar, so she had to bring it to daddy. Even daddy had a hard time opening it."

At this point, my internal dad joke radar started screaming a proximity warning. The collision with a dad joke was imminent. I smiled, took half a second to bask in my dad glory, and added, "Yeah, it was jammed."

Wife groaned, but son laughed (because he saw the lid was finally open). I take whatever I can get.

πŸ‘︎ 243
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtaxNOOOOOO
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2014
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The Pundits - Part 1

A quaint little men's class,

a few with class,

some smelling of a gin glass,

some with eyes of a lass,

the remainder eyeing a lad,

but all glad,

and all present,

youngster of the present,

bearders of the crescent,

readers new testaments,

preachers of old testaments,

bearers of saffron tenets,

wearers of white tints,

weird lovers of croissant,

well, all here, will all hear?

we never know,

lets look at the show

 

The English teacher, said,

"how to drink a juice?"

i know, said bart the bartender,

"with vodka and chicken tender"

the weirded beardo now angry,

showed he was a shouter,

wanted to be a bart-ender,

while shushing the crowd,

use a pipe, piped up a voice, loud,

"huh" exclaimed preacher pastor,

"no smoking" he said, showing a guilty fluster ,

"no sir" said the voice,

I'm extra maker,

spoke the voice quicker,

Mr.White scratching head,

"I'm an ex-straw maker",

the air cleared.

 

Proceeding further, Teacher continued,

the class was listening, eyes glued,

"etiquette is important" he said,

"wear napkin before eating",

their faces changed,

pulse now beating,

Mr.White said, "sir, we don't bleed",

an irritated saffron Sundar spoke,

"if you bleed, education you don't need"

the English sir, now a sundered bloke,

calmed the masked fish market,

as his God's fate chisel hammered,

"Do you know how to fork?" he stammered,

a brief silence, and too many whispers later

"I Pen is use sir", said a bright face,

"Do you know how to use a fork?" he corrected,

with damage now done, Silence resumed.

 

>ThePundits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themadraspaiyan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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My grandpa was the greatest jokester.

Back in April, me and the young men &a women of my family helped move my grandparents out their house, a house they had lived in for almost 45 years, into a small, 1-bedroom add-on to my uncles land.

Now, my grandpa had been a Baptist pastor for 47 years (now retired) and he was always quick on wit.

Well, as we were moving out the garage. My brother noticed something glued to the ground by some kind of resin. A piece of paper, looked almost 30 years old. We found out it was a sermon that my grandpa had preached way, way back in the day. And someone had spilled some kind of oil and that had gotten stuck to it and preserved it over the years. We brought my very frail grandpa out into the garage and told him what it was. He stared at it for about 5 seconds and said "Well, I guess that's one of my sermons that stuck!"

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ibelieveinfairies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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SO and I got my sister multiple times

We're out of state visiting my family. My sister (13) was being Moody and argumentative all day. By the time we got to dinner she was just glued to her phone. So, I took her phone, and say it in front of my SO. she pleaded several times to get her phone back, and I kept saying no. So, she started asking my SO.

Me: M | SO: SO | Sister: S

S: Can I just see my phone?

M: Picks up and shows it to her What colour is it?

S: ugh.. White. Duh.

M:, Good. Good. Then you can see it.

S:, Drawn out sigh

*S's phone buzzes

S: What does it say?

M: Samsung.

D: will you [SO] turn it and read it to me?

SO: rotates phone 90Β° Still says Samsung.

S: whhhhyyyyy???

Phone buzzes again

S: flip it over, and read it to me

SO: grins flips twice Samsung.

S: Are you on her side?!

SO: of the table

S: Uuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhh

Edit: Format

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xlusciniolax
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad About the movie Gravity

Gravity was pretty good. I felt glued to the floor the entire time

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Albertcore
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2014
🚨︎ report
My friend claims that he β€œaccidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend claims that he "accidentally" glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him.

But that's his story and he's sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 169
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Accidentally glued myself to my autobiography this morning

That's my story and I'm sticking to it

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ar1stocrat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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My friend claims that he β€œaccidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe it.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend claims that he β€œaccidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 311
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally glued myself to my autobiography but no one seems to believes me...

But that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend claims that he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography.

That’s his story, and he is sticking to it.

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
🚨︎ report

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