Genie Puns

Now I live in a cottage with 6 other dwarfs and I work in a mine.

Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"

He was feeling a bit blue

A fettugenie

I’ll ‘Grant’ it

He replied, "oui shall sí."

Taken from fb

he would be Aliden.

Genue: weurd but alrught.

Does that mean when you find a Frog's lamp, you Ribbit?

Ummm... let me see...

All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.

So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself “ooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”

So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, “Oh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”

The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts “tree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”

The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. “Well I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, “Ahhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping “bulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. “WELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”

The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman “Master, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”

The Irishman looks to the genie and says “oh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”

The prophet hands him a six sided piece of paper. Confused, the man asks how it's supposed to help him. "Simple," the prophet says, "it's a hex a gon."

Genie: what is your 2nd wish rich.

Because someone rubbed him the wrong way.

A genius.

So he became 90

A Djinn and Tonic

He was independant.

After that, everything I touched turned into a muffler.

Me: I want a world without lawyers

Genie: Done, your three wishes are over

Me: I still have two left!

Genie: Sue me

Man: “For my first wish I'd like to be rich."

Genie: “Alright Rich, what's your second wish".

To which the Genie replied, “Your wish is granite.”

Dave: I wish I was Rich!

Genie: Granted

Rich: Nice

(Sorry for formatting, mobile app is the embodiment of a bucket with a hole in it)

My wish would have far reaching consequences.

He made me immortal

Genie: What will your wish be?

Henry: I want to be rich

Genie: Of course, your wish is granted. What will you second wish be?

Rich: I want a lot of money...

Me: I wish I could teleport. Dad: What would you tell it?

A wishing machine.

For the Jambiance!

Genie: Not sure exactly.

Me: Give me a ballpark figure.

...Now I’m the size of Yankee stadium.

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’

I am misogyny.

Steve: "I wish I was rich."

Genie: "What’s your second wish, Rich?"

Man: I wanna be rich!

Genie: What is your second wish, Rich?

Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"

“I want to be rich!” Replied the man

“Ok Rich, what’s your next wish?”

Steve answered, "I wish I was rich."

And the genie said, "What’s your second wish, Rich?"

Rich: I need a lot of money

And the genie said, "What’s your second wish, Rich?"

Genie: Fine. You can have 3.14 wishes.

Boy: I wish I were you.

Genue: weurd but alrught.

Genie : What’s your second wish, Rich?

Genius