GEnie Puns

he would be Aliden.

All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.

So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself “ooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”

So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, “Oh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”

The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts “tree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”

The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. “Well I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, “Ahhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping “bulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. “WELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”

The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman “Master, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”

The Irishman looks to the genie and says “oh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”

The prophet hands him a six sided piece of paper. Confused, the man asks how it's supposed to help him. "Simple," the prophet says, "it's a hex a gon."

Ummm... let me see...

Steve: "I wish I was rich."

Genie: "What’s your second wish, Rich?"

Genie: what is your 2nd wish rich.

Man: I wanna be rich!

Genie: What is your second wish, Rich?

A genius.

Genue: weurd but alrught.

“I want to be rich!” Replied the man

“Ok Rich, what’s your next wish?”

A kid finds a magical lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears and says, “What is your first wish?” The kid says, “I wish I were rich!” The genie replies, “It is done! What is your second wish, Rich?”

Because someone rubbed him the wrong way.

Granted! Now what's your next wish, Richard?

So he became 90

A Djinn and Tonic

Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"

After that, everything I touched turned into a muffler.

To which the Genie replied, “Your wish is granite.”

Me: I want a world without lawyers

Genie: Done, your three wishes are over

Me: I still have two left!

Genie: Sue me

He was independant.

Dave: I wish I was Rich!

Genie: Granted

Rich: Nice

(Sorry for formatting, mobile app is the embodiment of a bucket with a hole in it)

My wish would have far reaching consequences.

Man: “For my first wish I'd like to be rich."

Genie: “Alright Rich, what's your second wish".

He made me immortal

Genie: What will your wish be?

Henry: I want to be rich

Genie: Of course, your wish is granted. What will you second wish be?

Rich: I want a lot of money...

For the Jambiance!

A wishing machine.

Me: I wish I could teleport. Dad: What would you tell it?

Genie: Not sure exactly.

Me: Give me a ballpark figure.

...Now I’m the size of Yankee stadium.

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’

I am misogyny.

A few years ago I was feeling slightly ill but I was playing it up because I did not want to go to school.

On the phone

Me: Dad I feel really sick

Dad: Do you think you will need to go to a walk in

Me: I think so

Dad: Well I am working right now would you like me to call you an ambulance?

Me: Yeah

Dad: YOU'RE AN AMBULANCE YOU'RE AN AMBULANCE

A carcinojinn.

Rich: I need a lot of money

Genue: weurd but alrught.

Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!"

The genie nodded and said, "What’s your second wish?"

Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"

Steve answered, "I wish I was rich."

And the genie said, "What’s your second wish, Rich?"

Boy: I wish I were you.

Genue: weurd but alrught.

And the genie said, "What’s your second wish, Rich?"

Genie : What’s your second wish, Rich?

Genie: Fine. You can have 3.14 wishes.

Genius