Where did elderly ancient Egyptians gather?

In the great pyramid of geezer

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Muppet_Cartel
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Maybe a rolling stone gathers no moss...

.....but a moving ceiling fan, sure gathers a lot of dust.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a border collie. My master says that my main purpose is to gather sheep for him.

That's what I herd, anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
The seven dwarves have been told they can only gather in groups of 6...

... One of them isn’t Happy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brainpain152
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I went over to a station where people could gather and entertain themselves with games. On the entrance was marked β€œ5”

I went to play station 5

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angoram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A family gathers around their father who is very old and sick...

Daughter, are you here? Son? Where is my brother? Is everyone here in this room with me now?

Yes Dad we're all here! Your entire family is here in this room!

Then why is the hallway light on?

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisrus65
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, β€œNO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack responded, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when all your mother's sisters gather at a funeral to avenge your death?

Vigil aunties.

πŸ‘︎ 133
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shoppingcartoast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of a place where all the tall people gather to drink ?

It's called Tallinn

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dope_DUD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.

We call it our Con Den session.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A Rolling Stone gathers no moss
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mill3nnialfalc0N
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
There’s a robot that used a laser to gather information about birds.

It Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_PROkofiev_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do foodies gather?
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sailslick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
If a group of vegans all gather together

Is it called a vegetableing?

^^^^^instead ^^^^^of ^^^^^a ^^^^^meating

even I'm cringing at this one.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Svengelska1990
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.