So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
... One of them isn’t Happy.
I went to play station 5
The lumberjack responded, “And you will dialogue.”
It's called Tallinn
We call it our Con Den session.
Daughter, are you here? Son? Where is my brother? Is everyone here in this room with me now?
Yes Dad we're all here! Your entire family is here in this room!
Then why is the hallway light on?
Vigil aunties.
It Scandinavian.
Is it called a vegetableing?
^^^^^instead ^^^^^of ^^^^^a ^^^^^meating
even I'm cringing at this one.
.. last year I raked it in.
“I didn’t know you spoke German!” he replied
Lettuce pray
They loved chalk lit.
"Once a pawn a time..."
A root of squares.
It was just gathering dust
They followed the guidance religiously.
Crowd funding
They have been Austriacized..
They’re supposed to isolate themselves from corvid nineteen.
It was slimy pickings for dinner that evening.
But it wasn't for altruism of course, they all stood to make an enormous prophet.
A meat and eat!
... it sucked. All it did was gather dust.
I guess only small gatherings are allowed.
"I've rounded them up"
The leader donkey got shot and killed.
Ass-as-a-nation
I found the Sir conference.
He hopes to make a bundle!
I had never met herbivore
At the Sir-conference
Did you hear about the Cockatiel that was trying to find a new home for his family? He zipped back and forth everywhere, but couldn't find a good spot anywhere. Then he came across a bear, sleeping flat of his back with his mouth wide open. Not recognizing what it was, he thought the bear's mouth would be the perfect spot for a nest. He gathered his family and they all got to work building a new home for themselves, but then the bear woke up. Realizing what was going on, he politely informed them that he couldn't let them nest in his mouth. He hated to do it, but it was quite the bird den to bear.
inviting several prostitutes to the same party is gathering your thots.
A Vegetableup
A Soviet Reunion
Because a Rolling Stone gathers no moss
One of the villagers turned and asked another, "what happened?"
She told him, "he's been arrested for forgery."
..Raked it in last year.
It was only gathering dust.
all it was doing was gathering dust
