If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.

That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaachh_Ded
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow that could produce 1,000 gallons of milk every day?

She was legendairy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dcapz87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The last thing my grandfather said to me before he died was β€œPints! Gallons! Litres!”

That spoke volumes.

πŸ‘︎ 347
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: What weighs more? A gallon of water or a gallon of butane? Son: they both weigh the same.

Dad: wrong. Water is a fluid and butane is a lighter fluid!

Edit: credit to u/Kelly240361

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImNoTSaRCaStIc420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Who can drink 5 gallons of gas and not get sick?

Jerry can

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BabyxJolly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that Native American who drank 5 gallons of tea before bed?

That night, he drowned in his teepee.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MitchOnTheMic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a gallon of milk’s weak spot?

The jugular

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tgborst
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
1L is equal to 0.264 US gallon...

Literally

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, β€œGet a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, β€œThey had eggs.”

edit: I know guys, I know, it’s supposed to be 13, I messed up the wording, please forgive me

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManicMonocle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know who can drink a gallon of gasoline and not die?

Jerry can

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm not able to hold 5 gallons of gasoline in me...

...but Jerry can.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThyNameIsP
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Who can drink four gallons of gasoline?

Jerry can!

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scrollholio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What's heavier, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane ? (Substitute 'litre' for 'gallon' if reading outside of USA)

Water because butane is a lighter fluid

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I just made a half gallon of Chocolate Tea

It's not really chocolate...just a lil chocolate tea

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StoopSign
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How much is in a gallon of minerals?

4 quartz

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Heavier, one gallon of water or one gallon of butane?

Butane, because it's a lighter fluid.

My son told me this joke and he just informed me he got that from this same sub-reddit. So, sorry for the repost.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashotep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Which one is thicker a gallon of water or a gallon of petrol?

The gallon of water because the petrol is gas-o-lean

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johndeerdrew
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My French friend borrowed 1,000 gallons of water from me...

He wrote me an IO eau.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My dairy farmer uncle died leaving written legal instruction for me to inherit a single gallon of cheese production byproduct. Makes sense, because...

Where there's a will, there's a whey.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œCould you go to the store and buy one gallon of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.” When I came home with 6 gallons of milk, she shrieked, β€œWhy in the world did you buy 6 gallons of milk!?”

I replied, β€œThey had avocados.”

πŸ‘︎ 305
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2018
🚨︎ report
For only 300,000 Gallons Of Lemon Juice
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BoiBotEXE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the little native American boy who drank a gallon of sweet tea before bed?

They found him the next morning, drowned in his own teepee.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Snype_4_Fun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy threw a gallon of milk at my head

How dairy

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NigTree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
🚨︎ report
I dropped a gallon jug of liquid laundry detergent and it exploded as it hit the pavement

I said β€œthat’s the end of an Era.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought a gallon of White Out.

Big Mistake..

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nitwittery
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you eat a gallon of ice cream?

Breyers remorse.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainFartTheFirst
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
🚨︎ report
I bought a gallon of Tipex online yesterday

It was a big mistake.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Z45k
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
🚨︎ report
My mom brought home half a gallon of half-and-half from the store.

I asked if it could be called quart-and-quart.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thedrtaylor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Indian who drank 5 gallons of iced tea before bedtime?

He drowned in his teepee.

Thanks Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Matraxia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
🚨︎ report
What weighs more; a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

The water weighs more. Butane is the lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 238
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a gallon of water, or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ew0k5AN0nomi5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

Water because butane is lighter fluid

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFishmanau
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s heavier a gallon of water of a gallon of butane?

Water because butane is a lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 372
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Necromorph_607
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Which ways more a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

Water. Butane is a lighter fluid

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stoll33
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfather’s last words were β€œPints! Litres! Gallons!”

That spoke volumes.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

The water, because the butane is lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 344
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep...

That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather’s last words were, β€œGallons. Quarts. Litres.”

That spoke volumes.

πŸ‘︎ 361
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was "Pints, Litres, Gallons!"

That spoke volumes.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was β€œPints, Litres, Gallons!”

That spoke volumes.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
You hear about the Indian that drank 23 gallons of tea?

He drowned in his own teepee.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bporter84
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report

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