A museum
Humerus.
It's quarantine.
Don't get it? Oh well, it's an inside joke..
Because everyone gets it
The punter..
She said, "Meh."
So I immediately said, "You heard it here, folks, it's a meh zing."
He leaves his patients in stitches
We were laughing all the way to the bank.
I handed him a mirror
He cracked too many yolks.
Because no one except dadjokes.
“What is it?”
“Just guess.”
“I don’t know.”
“A joke.”
, dad jokes.
...is the delivery.
They just never fail to crack me up
The winner and the 9 runner ups: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets"
- "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
- "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
- "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
- "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
- "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
- "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
- "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
- "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
- "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham
I'm taking a new job and moving to a new state. I throw out dad jokes whenever I can. I want to leave our work group chat with a great send off. What's your worst, but funniest dad joke?
I've been holding it in for days!
“My pull out game is strong”
He answered: the pun-da bear, what else?
A girl came up to me and said she recognized me from a vegetarian restaurant...
I was a bit confused...
I had never met herbivore
He was driving; I was sitting shotgun. The moon in the sky was just a tiny sliver. I pondered out loud that "I wonder if it's waxing or waning." My dad said "waning? It's not even cwoudy!"
Comedy is all about timing.
A lip tickle
My dad and I were watching tv one night and the screen suddenly goes black. After watching the blank screen for a good 10 seconds, he finally breaks the silence by saying "If anyone were to peer in at us right now, they'd think we're insane."
Here is the joke: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. ‘My friend is dead! What should I do?’ The operator replies, ‘Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he’s dead.’ There’s a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, ‘Ok, now what?’”
Here is the article to back it up: http://www.urbo.com/content/the-worlds-funniest-joke-according-to-science
Insert Mic Drop
He's hilarryous.
Girlfriend: "What's your genealogy? What's in you?" My Mom: "Mostly British and French, some Danish and Polish, and..." My Dad: "...And sometimes a little Norwegian."
