Amusing hangar outside HOU airport
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Mar 07 2021
What do you call an amusing, mushroom-looking person?
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Feb 10 2020
My roommate ran out of buns and used the last of my flatbreads for his breakfast this morning. He didn't find my response amusing.
ποΈ 130
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οΈ Jul 30 2014
BREAKING: The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Dad Jokes.
They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Sep 27 2020
My son asked me today the difference between βamusedβ and βbemusedβ.
At first I felt happy, but then I didnβt know what to think.
ποΈ 80
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οΈ Feb 07 2021
Wife asked for popcorn. She was not amused.
ποΈ 32
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οΈ Dec 21 2020
What do you call an amusement park ride that's completely made out of iron?
ποΈ 46
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οΈ Nov 10 2020
My wife went into labor today, so I read the front page of /r/DadJokes to her as a distraction from the pain. Unfortunately, she didnβt laugh once, was clearly not amused and I have no idea why...
It must have been the delivery...
ποΈ 205
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οΈ Aug 26 2020
A family is in an amusement park and comes across an animatronic display of Al Gore playing the drums.
The mother says, "Hey everyone, look at that. Isn't that amazing?" The father, unimpressed, replies, "It's just an algorithm".
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Oct 23 2020
DadHelp wanted: more variants for "interrupting cow" knock-knock joke to amuse kids
Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!
(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)
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French cow: le moo
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Backwards cow: oom
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Upside down cow: woo
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Sad cow: moo hoo hoo
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Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo
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Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo
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Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)
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Cow in disguise: Baa
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Horse in disguise: Moo
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Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo
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Inaudible cow:
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Oct 08 2020
He was... not amused lol
ποΈ 34
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οΈ Mar 24 2020
If I ever win a big monetary prize or inheritance, I'll change my last name to Bates.
My butler won't be amused though.
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Apr 23 2021
I just bought a dictionary today and bought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
ποΈ 38
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οΈ Dec 10 2020
Me (feeling discomfort while at a North Atlantic bird-themed amusement park):
"Well, this is Auk-World...."
ποΈ 2
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οΈ May 06 2020
Nintendo puns
ποΈ 63
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οΈ Nov 24 2020
How do you know an amusement park isn't fake?
When you see the ferris wheel.
(Made this joke after a 10 minute argument with my 5 year old niece. She pointed out the ferris wheel and I kept saying "I know... the fair is real.")
ποΈ 18
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οΈ Feb 18 2020
The society is not amused
ποΈ 31
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οΈ Feb 23 2019
When my wife was having our baby, I tried to distract her by telling Dad jokes. She wasnβt amused.
Must have been the delivery.
ποΈ 719
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οΈ Apr 03 2018
Filling out a report at work... and finding ways to amuse myself while doing so
ποΈ 36
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οΈ Apr 17 2019
At amusement parks, when the line splits, we never pick the right line.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Dec 26 2019
When is door not a door?
ποΈ 28
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οΈ Oct 15 2020
When I found out crayola had a amusment park I was colerfuly suprised.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Sep 23 2019
Whatβs orange and sounds like a parrot?
ποΈ 69
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οΈ Jun 23 2020
Just came up with this joke for my roommate, she was not amused.
What do you call a stone with eyes?
Roxy
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Feb 17 2019
She wasnβt very amused
ποΈ 15
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οΈ May 03 2018
My Wife told our kids they need to get their acts together.
I asked if it would be ok if they gathered their swords instead. She was not amused.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jan 07 2021
My wife asked me to help her wrap presents...
So I started doing my best human beatbox impersonation.
"Yo! Yo! Presents in da hizzzzzzz!"
She wasn't as amused as I was.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Dec 20 2020
I wasn't amused when my friend stole my equivalent trigonometric expressions
Identity theft is not a joke.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jan 08 2019
Did you ever hear of the girl who got dumper at the amusement park?
It was an emotional roller coaster
ποΈ 10
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οΈ May 05 2018
If my kid is easily amused with a mirror, does that mean he will self distract?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Feb 15 2018
My friends were arguing about which roller coaster to go on next at the amusement park. When they asked for my opinion, I told them I didn't care.
I was just along for the rides.
ποΈ 25
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οΈ Sep 30 2017
Dad jokes at the old amusement park.
First day of summer vacation, pack up the family and bring them to Canobie Lake Park, a local amusement park.
We all get on the Ferris Wheel and the listen to the instructions:
Operator: "Please keep you arms and legs in the cart at all times, remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop and please NO ROCKING!"
Me: "Awwww man, I was just abut to crank some AC/DC"
My family and the family in line behind us: ::audible groans::
ποΈ 46
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οΈ Jun 23 2016
Wife was not amused
Recently in my neck of the woods, we have been experiencing a cold snap. This morning, my wife set me up for a zinger.
Wife (dressing our 10 month old daughter): I don't know how to dress her.
Me: Shirt goes on the top half, pants on the bottom half.
Wife: No! I mean for the temperature!
Me: Oh! Honey I don't think the temperature cares what she wears today.
ποΈ 45
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οΈ Sep 23 2014
The Foo Fighters should have their own amusement park ride called the "Rockin' Grohlercoaster"
I just picture Dave Grohl riding the coaster car in his throne with his leg in a cast rocking out.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Dec 05 2016
Customer dadjoked my boss and I tonight. I loved it. His wife and my boss were not amused.
So I work at a pizza shop. This middle aged man, typical dad polo shirt, white New Balances, etc... comes in with his wife. They want subs. So my boss is taking their order. She asks him if he wants any cheese on his sub. He responds "yeah, that religious stuff". My boss looks up at him confused and says, "what?". I immediately jump in and say, "Swiss!" My boss looks even more confused. The guy is smirking and says, "yeah, the holy kind!" His wife lets out the biggest groan as him and I crack up. My boss just shook her head and walked away in disgust.
ποΈ 27
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οΈ Jun 01 2014
Taking a car load of kids to amusement park today. One kid screams "Please tell me that's Knott's Berry Farm." ...
I reply, "It's Knott."
Kids in unison "Awww."
ποΈ 17
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οΈ Dec 29 2016
Saw a guy riding an amusement park ride alone today.
I wonder if he still said "weeee!", or if he said "meeee!" instead.
ποΈ 22
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οΈ Sep 05 2016
What do you call an Iron Wheel at an Amusement Park?
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Aug 27 2020
Is this amusement-park big wheel made of iron?
Yes. It's a ferrous wheel
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Aug 24 2020
What is Ironmanβs favorite ride at the amusement park?
ποΈ 18
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οΈ Jun 26 2020
While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didnβt seem amused...
I guess it was the delivery!
ποΈ 206
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οΈ Aug 06 2019
What do you call an amusement ride made of iron?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Jul 11 2019
While my wife was in labor, I told her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she wasn't amusedβ¦
It must have been the deliveryβ¦
ποΈ 296
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οΈ Aug 30 2017
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