Frances Goodrich Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Join Mouse River Players as they present The Diary of Anne Frank adapted by Frances Goodrich and Albert Hackett and based on the book Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl.

https://preview.redd.it/daidqhm0z3981.png?width=764&format=png&auto=webp&s=09fa218b58469862aad804be7ca01f014b15f801

Performance Dates:January 21-22 and 28-29 at 7:30January 23 and 30 at 2:00

Tickets are currently available at www.mouseriverplayers.com and may sell out quickly, so make your reservations now!

Ticket prices:Adult - $15Senior, students, military - $13Children (12 and under) - $10

Summary from Dramatists:

Anne Frank emerges from history a living, lyrical, intensely gifted young girl, who confronts her rapidly changing life and the increasing horror of her time with astonishing honesty, wit, and determination. An impassioned drama about the lives of eight people hiding from the Nazis in a concealed storage attic, The Diary of Anne Frank captures the claustrophobic realities of their daily existence—their fear, their hope, their laughter, their grief. Each day of these two dark years, Anne’s voice shines through: “When I write I shake off all my cares. But I want to achieve more than that. I want to be useful and bring enjoyment to all people, even those I’ve never met. I want to go on living even after my death!”

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

• If you find your book in the thread below, send the number of the book via reddit chat or via telegram .
• Almost all the books are in their latest editions and some of them are available in multiple editions too
• Books (pdf) are delivered through Google-Drive link
• You can also send requests via reddit chat or by telegram .
• Also, upvote the post if you found it useful

Please find the list below

6989. An Introduction to Project Management, Fifth Edition: Kathy Schwalbe

6990. Decision by Objectives, 1st Edition: Ernest Forman & Mary Ann Selly

6991. Aeschylus II: The Oresteia, 3rd Edition: Aeschylus & David Grene & Richmond Lattimore & Mark Griffith & Glenn W. Most

6992. Community Health Nursing: Caring for the Public's Health, 3rd Edition: Karen Saucier Lundy & Sharyn Janes

6993. Discipline Without Stress Punishments or Rewards : How Teachers and Parents Promote Responsibility & Learning, 2nd Edition Revised: Marvin Marshall

6994. AP Calculus AB & BC Prep Plus 2019-2020: 6 Practice Tests + Study Plans + Targeted Review & Practice + Online: Kaplan Test Prep

6995. Manufacturing Processes for Design Professionals, Reprint Edition: Rob Thompson

6996. Public Service Values, 1st Edition: Richard C. Box

6997. Cracking the AP Calculus AB Exam 2020, Premium Edition: The Princeton Review

6998. Principles of Human Physiology, 6th Edition: Cindy L. Stanfield

6999. Writing Research Papers: A Complete Guide, 16th Edition: James D. Lester

7000. Semiconductor Device Fundamentals, 2nd Edition: Robert F. Pierret

7001. Microelectronic Circuits, 6th Edition: Adel S. Sedra & Kenneth C. Smith

7002. Electromagnetics, 1st Edition: Branislav M. Notaros

7003. Public Finance, 10th Edition: Harvey S Rosen & Ted Gayer

7004. Public Finance, Global Edition, 10th Edition: Ted Gayer & Harvey Rosen

7005. Introduction to Global Business: Understanding the International Environment & Global Business Functions, 2nd Edition: Julian Gaspar & James Kolari & Richard Hise & Leonard Bierman & L. Murphy Smith

7006. Health & Wellness, 13th Edition: Gordon Edlin & Eric Golanty

7007. Politics in America: 2018 Elections and Updates Edition, 11th Edition: Thomas R. Dye & Ronald K. Gaddie

7008. Graphic Design History, 2nd Edition: Johanna Drucker & Emily McVarish

7009. International Marketi

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

I won't be doing that today!

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a post all year!

[Removed]

And then shook his arm really fast.

(True story, please groan with me.)

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.