When it's necessary.
Don’t worry! These cuffs were designed for two-wrists.
If you’re hot blooded, they’ll check it and see.
"Red stop, Gringo."
They were framed.
Coming over here, demanding to know what love is!
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
I think they called it Allah carte
No idea why the school hired him.
Through science.
1st cow: What do you mean, baaaaa? Don't you mean moooo?
2nd cow: I'm learning a foreign language.
(Once read that in some joke book)
We called him the international juul thief
... and you still hate him now. But now he's an official resident of Florida and I may see him differently now. I've seen a lot of hate thrown his way, but this guy is a consistent winner and an overachiever. That's what the people who support him love about him. Yes, there have been some scandals. Yes, there have been some lies and maybe a few times he's twisted the truth to make himself look better. He's out there everyday proving those haters wrong time after time. Call it jealously, call it envy. Some people just can't handle how successful he is and how much money he has. They could even be jealous that he's got a hot, foreign model as his wife. You may not have wanted him in this role, but he's there now and there is nothing you or I can do about it. I know it'll possibly get worse over the next several days, but like him or not, Tom Brady is turning things around in Tampa Bay.
They were maid for each other.
He’s an International Arms Dealer.
It’s a military coo.
Because they were designed for two wrists.
Me: Hi hungry, I'm American!
My Son: That only works if I said I was Hungarian...
Me: I could never make fun of a foreigner's poor English...
A diplomat.
So the other day, me and a foreign dude I know went hunting in the woods (you know, since it’s such an classically American thing (I know)). Anyways, so while we’re there, we get attacked by a four armed bear. Luckily, we were able to kill it before it killed us. Then I realized how rare this was, so we decided to take a couple of arms each as a trophy. So I let him, the foreigner, have the left pair, while I, as an American, got the right two bear arms.
Is just bazaar.
So I went to the drug store and bought him the best Axe Scent money can buy!
Unfortunately, he was arrested for being an ill-eagle immigrant.
With Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Saw a girl, at the bar, told my friend "she's a nein." He told me to head to the eye doctor.
Her: "Urban Italy looks like a bad place to be with a rented car."
Me: "Yeah, I suppose there are some very old & busy cities there."
Her: "I don't know if I could do it. My Dad drove in Greece and that was bad enough."
Me: "Oof yeah, sounds sketchy. Though you'd think they'd have cleaned it up by now."
Her: ?
Me: "The grease."
I have a penpal from Spain I talk to a lot. Today we were chatting on Google Chat in English, and the topic of whether or not sea lions were dangerous came up.
Me: okay google says "sea lion saves man" has 976,000 results
Her: that man has sinked so many times
Edit: Bonus, she continued laughing at her own joke.
Her: hahahahaha
Her: i cant stop laughing
Her: it was so bad joke
Her: hahaha
Bit weird, to be honest. Everyone was talking in foreign languages and their lips didn't match what their voices were saying.
...the Audi Partner.
Until they started using examples from foreign countries. That's a bridge too far for me.
Spy-ghetti
I said He is a Home School Foreign Exchange Student.
*walking down the line asking everyone their name.
And whats you name?
"Lauda"
WHATS YOUR NAME?
I love foreign axe scents.
So my sister is a freshman at college and after a week my dad asks her how classes are going. She says all is ok except that her math professor is Russian and she can hardly understand him. My dad without missing a beat "He's Russian? well tell him to slow down then"....
Me: "Where even is Sociedad?" Dad: "I don't know son, I've never been to Socie" He was like http://i.imgur.com/EAf5il.png and I was like http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/312/563/05d.jpg and my mum was like http://media0.giphy.com/media/Rhhr8D5mKSX7O/giphy.gif
https://www.reddit.com/r/quityourbullshit/comments/5vemhh/texas_hunters_who_accidentally_shot_each_other/
This all happened in french so you none french speaking folk might not find this very funny. I saw /u/OHDEERGOAT post his Swedish dad joke and it reminded me of this. On a road trip a while back, I spotted some sort of bird of prey (means rapasse in french, which also sounds like repasse which means to return) so I tell my GrandPa about it. He says, "you know kid, bird of prey, ça passe et ça rapasse."
He's dead now, but we will all remember him for his sense of humour.
After eaten everything, the waitor comes to take the plates. Waitor: Are you finish? (As in done, typical bad english) Dad: Noo, We're Norwegian..
A phone conversation with father
Dad: Hey t_muld I haven't seen your friend Rachel lately.
Me: Yeah she's studying abroad.
Dad: Oh what's her name?
Me: (Long sigh)
Dad: t_muld are you there? I said what's her name?
You know what my favorite beer is?
The next one
I love foreign axe scents.
This has been disproved by science.
