A girl potato told her parents she was marrying Tom Brokaw, but they forbid it because...

He was just a common-tater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Why did the farmer forbid his daughter from partaking in the harvest?

She kept wearing crop tops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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God forbid I say the word 'what' in response to something my dad says...

Since the dawn of time (about 21 years ago) my dad has made it his life goal that when I respond to something he says with "what?" he tells me "'What's' a lightbulb. There's a lot of 'whats's' in it." This still happens. I have no idea when he thought this was funny, or why he hasn't realized it doesn't really make sense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gomestradamus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
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β€œLook! A man wearing a dress!” – Father’s Day story

When I was about 5 years old, my dad told the greatest dad joke. He’d be driving the family through our neighborhood and would say β€œLook! A man wearing a dress!” My siblings and I would look around and laugh with my dad. We loved when he would say this (it was like an absurd scavenger hunt) but my mother absolutely hated it. β€œWhere? What are you talking about Tom?!” She actually got angry since she couldn’t see the man wearing a dress either. Since he would do this on a semi-regular basis to make us laugh, it became a problem with my mom and she ended up getting so angry as to forbid him saying it ever again.

I never really understood what was going on since I was so young, but I really missed the man wearing a dress joke. At one point, I thought the joke referenced a nearby business with a kilted man for a mascot. A few years ago, I asked my dad what the joke was.

β€œOh! It wasn’t the sign,” he told me. β€œWe had a family in the neighborhood with the last name β€˜Manwaring’. When we would drive by their house, I’d point at their mailbox and say β€˜Look, a Manwaring address!’”

I was too young to read at the time so it took 20 years to be in on his brilliant pun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simserialkiller
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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24 Feb 2017, Revised Rules and meta-state of /r/puns

Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

I've been very busy with personal stuff for the past few weeks, so I've let this subreddit drift unattended. Reading some of the reports and comments after coming back makes me realize that my absence led to some unwanted events happening!


Let's start with the fun stuff: We now have a new fancy rulebook! If you suspect a post of breaking these rules, feel free to report it in the relevant category, or use (8) other if you suspect it to slip through the cracks of one of the other rules.

Secondly, as of right now, we do not have an explicit rule forbidding inflammatory subjects like race, politics, etc, as the rest of reddit seems to be melting down, but so far we remain unscathed. I wish to let you all crack puns like adults without having to put on training wheels, but if any of the above subjects become a problem then I will swiftly revisit this. Consider this a privilege, not a right, and do try to avoid abusing it! Piggybacking off this, any post that is more 'lewd' than PG should be NSFW tagged. If it is inappropriate for an office setting, I will manually NSFW it, and repeat offenders will have consequences.

Third, you can now request puns! start a self post with [request] and put in whatever information is necessary, such as "[request] puns about clocks".


I'll keep this post stickied for about a week or so, to keep it as a nice feedback net, and we can adjust rules, add/delete/modify them as needed, to keep our subreddit of lovely puns in peak condition!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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Student: Sir, all you teach is useless stuffs.

Teacher: I forbid you to say that to yourself!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMoodyGuy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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Why was Jesus up for auction?

Because someone said God forbid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TryingToCareLess
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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My friend dad joked my injury

Bad knee, commented on how I don't want to stay over a different friend's house in case anything happens.

Me: I'm not sure I should because of the nasty on my knee, god forbid something happens to it ya know

Her: Don't want akneething to happen to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crashdontfall_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2014
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