Footie Puns

I guess he is going to "B***end*** it like Beckham!"

Watching Swans vs Hawthorn tonight, and scores are 31 all, and my (maths teacher) father says, "One more point each and the score will be even.".

So we're in the car driving to the airport and my dad's talking about his buddy Terry. Terry was in some small movie and my dad was commenting that he played both the referee in a footy game, and then it cut to a shot of the crowd and THERE WAS TERRY. My dad goes "I mean, he could have at least put a different shirt on to create the illusion he was someone else. How silly of him!"

My sister says "You should be real careful dad, you shouldn't make fun of him. You can die from dissin' Terry"

Cue groans and laughter, and my dad conceding the apprentice has surpassed the master.

We were watching the England Italy game and Raheem Stirling made a good run to the box, the commentator then says "great effort by Stirling there" to which my dad responded "shouldn't that be a Sterling effort?"

While putting footie pajamas on my baby niece we realized she was too tall for them. My dad says, "Cut off her feet and they'll fit. She's young, she'll adapt."

We were looking for a beer opener and I he took one out in the shape of a foot (given at the birth of someone in the family)

I went "well that's quite handy" to which he replied, "handy? I think you mean footy"

A: "A pair of socks?" B: "No I'd like that gift, it would be handy" A: "No that'd by footy"