I put my chips on the table knowing that she was about to fold.

She said "Move your dinner whilst I sort these clothes out."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
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Classy Dad

When I was at my fifth grade invention convention, my fried JosΓ© brought his younger brother, who immediately started climbing under the folding tables. I told my dad, "Theres this kid under the tables!" He then replies "What's he look like?" I said, "Well he's JosΓ©'s brother so he's hispanic" My dad thinks for a moment, and then, with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face says "Hispanic kids crawling the tables? I think we're a little north of the border for that"

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
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Robin Williams Dad Jokes Mike Rowe

Mike Rowe on meeting Robin Williams the first time:

The first was in 2006 - June or maybe July. I walked into The Roastery down on Chestnut, ordered a coffee, and sat down to read the paper. I soon discovered I was in one of those chairs with one leg shorter than the rest, and resolved to remedy the problem by jamming a folded-up coaster under the offending limb. I bent down, got the thing positioned properly, and managed to smack my head on the edge of the table on the way back up. Hard. The impact was noisy, and sent coffee slushing all over The Chronicle, which in turn lead to an β€œAhh...shit!,” a little louder than I intended. A second later, a voice said, β€œNo, I believe that’s coffee. Shit’s the stuff I see you crawling through every time I turn on the TV.”

source

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silentex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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