My son flushed one of his shoes down the toilet, stopping it up...
Please check if you flushed
Coach Butt pushed his team The Doodies into the Toilet Bowl. But, his team was playing like crap after a heavy load. And even though Coach knew his #1 was flushed, he pointed at him and said...
Did you hear about the guy that flushed himself down the toilet?
Why did the pencil get flushed down the toilet?
The ocean flushed out a lot of seaweed...
I guess one could say the tides were pretty high.
I'm going to name my kid Ale, so that when he looks flushed I can say...
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That shit is getting old," I told him.
PS: Do I get any extra credit if this is a real story?
I love a royal flush!
It means a great deal to me.
My wife wanted to buy a ceiling light. She said, “this one comes with a hanging chain but I think we should just mount it flush with the ceiling.”
I said, “that would be off the chain.”
A thief in a small town stole all the toilets...
Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'
My poker cards yesterday were so shitty
Hey dad, can we stop at the casino at the next exit?
Dad: Sure, why?
Son: I need to go to the bathroom and the sign says they have the best craps in the state.
I was sitting on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
I went to a Star Trek convention dressed as a tree...
..... I was the captain's log
For those hoarding mouthwash: Remember that you should never flush Listerine® down the toilet.
Why did Captain Kirk flush the brand new toilet?
What did the pregnant mare say when she gave birth upon being dealt a royal flush?
Why shouldn’t you play poker with a plumber?
A good flush will beat a full house every time.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that shit
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
I run out of toilet paper...
What did the guy tell the plumber when the toilet was flushing too fast?
"There's some shit going down in here!"
I should have known better than to flush my wooden shoes down the toilet.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Never flush a snake down the toilet.
It’ll just come back to bite you.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush (good horror movie titles, btw)...
It's plumb crazy, but I have pipe dreams!
Just finished peeing and the wife came in after and asked: "Did you just piss without flushing"?
I replied, "Yea, it's pretty clear..."
.3 seconds later I realized how funny it was.
Why did the superhero flush the toilet
Because it was his doody!
How does Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
He doesn't, he scares the living shit out of it
I replaced the handle on the toilet today!
Me: I replaced the handle on the toilet today!
Teenager: (Sarcastic) And aren't you proud of it?
Me: Flushed with success.
What do you call a fantasy about plumbers?
What did one toilet say to another?
Every time I flush the toilet...
Never flush a danish shoe
A drunk friend threw up in my toilet
I told him, “well aren’t you looking flush?”
TIL some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet
That must be a shitty phobia to have
What do you get when bloods and crips don’t flush the toilet?
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
My friend said he had a shit so big that it needed 6 flushes to go down...
Either he is full of shit or he was full of shit
I suppose a flush can beat a full house if...
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