I got fired from my job at the bank after just one day

A woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jediwag
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
I just got fired from my job as a taxy driver.

Turns out people don't like it when you go the extra mile for them.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romeo_rocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the bakery...

....just when I was thinking I was on a roll.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory?

She threw away all the w's.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job as a calendar manufacturer...

All I did was take a day off...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ikennaezeee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Who works after they're fired?

Bullets

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sameerinamdar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Oven fired clay?

How is pottery supposed to get a job now?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caelium44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
Why was the Native American bartender fired?

He kept charging $24 for a Manhattan

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?

He didn’t put enough shifts in

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pkuhn001
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job at Dairy Queen

Because I refused to work on sundaes

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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My friend got fired at the fizzy drinks factory today.

He was soda pressed.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exit202
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Wood fired Pizza

How is Pizza going to get a job now?!?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grunge615
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the man get fired from his job at the calendar factory?

He took a day off

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smileylover1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I fired my cleaner.

I'm glad that's done and dusted

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/northernsou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?

He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WardensLantern
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the bartender get fired?

For doing a pour job.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HuecoTanks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Voldemort fired from the salon?

Because he kept shouting β€œenemies of the hair...beware!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/btarsucks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My massage therapist got fired...

I guess she rubbed too many people the wrong way.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dermatologist was fired today

He made too many rash decisions

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the shoe factory, but they were nice enough to leave me with a parting gift.

They gave me the boot.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
why was the man fired from the bread factory?

he was loafing around

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lurkeremperor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister's family lost their only income when his husband got fired from his job making shoes, baguettes and sausages.

He was their sole bread wiener.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.

Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the casino groundskeeper get fired?

He thought the 2.5% rake policy applied to leaves.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UmphreyMcCheese
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Pepsi factory?

He tested positive for Coke!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I refused to believe my son got fired as a road worker for theft.

But when I got home, all the signs were there

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edotri
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the kernel get fired?

He got caught sleeping on the cob.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone told me of this alcholic guys ghost that got fired from his haunting job for poor performance.

Apparently, he couldn't handle his boos.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheB0yW0nder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Got fired as an electrician over safety concerns

But I think their fears were ungrounded

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I was fired from my job at the distillery.

I guess I misunderstood when my therapist told me not to keep everything bottled up.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smithsea2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I got fired from my job as a sports writer, they said all my articles were too short

I guess a pitcher is worth a thousand words.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the deal with people who get fired from the U.S. Mint?

None of them make cents anymore!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickissupershort
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.

Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday

I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory

All I did was take a day off

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nandos677
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why I got fired from the calendar factory?

I took a day off.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oceanmoonfish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory

All I did was take a day off

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trace826621
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.

They said I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aboutanimechannel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dermatologist was fired today...

...they say he was just making too many rash decisions.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the calendar factory

All I did was take a day off.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know I got fired from the calendar factory ?

Yea, I took a day off

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DinkyOreo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory ...

... because I took a few days off.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stchrysostom
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory

All I did was take a day off

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday

I guess I wasn’t putting in enough shifts

πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bgone1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Got fired from the massage parlor.

I rubbed one of my clients up the wrong way.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I was fired from the calendar factory!

All I did was take a day off!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mickets
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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