I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday

I guess I wasn’t putting in enough shifts

πŸ‘︎ 137
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bgone1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
I got fired on my first day as a car salesman.

Customer: "Cargo space?"

Me: "No, car no fly, car go roads"

Manager: "Can I see you in my office?"

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
Why was the baker’s assistant fired?

He was loafing around.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SporadicSage
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
I refused to believe my son got fired as a road worker for theft.

But when I got home, all the signs were there

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edotri
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
She got fired from the hot dog stand...

... for putting her hair in a bun.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Why do guns only work when they are fired.

Please help. I am tired but I can't fall asleep. I need the ultimate answer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TrickyBullfrog2
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
I was fired from a calender factory

I took a day off

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bats_and_waffles
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer "Smoking" or "Non-Smoking".

Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial"

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ht-18
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the Calendar Factory....

I took a day off.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealStickBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
I've been fired from work for putting in too many shifts

Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you think

πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bug activist who was happy he was fired?

He was for Termite Nation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alphabluewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Wood fired pizza...

How is pizza going to get a job now?

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OOF2101
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I just read that a man got fired from the police after stealing 7 breakfasts

They made an eggsample out of him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ewanhort
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job this week, which is ridiculous when I'm putting in 70+ hours..

every single year

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I was fired from a factory that makes calendars

Because I took a day off

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skrrrooch
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
I was fired from Jimmy Johns because I kept mixing up people’s orders.

Oops, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
People named Fred should really stop beeing selfish at their jobs. Just give fred an "I" and he might get fired...
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ek7a
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
I got fired when I asked a customer if he preferred smoking or non smoking.

Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial".

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Got fired from my job at the coffee factory

Boss said it was because I had no filter

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVampireQueen7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Someone fired a gun into my phone

It was a screen shot

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyteronix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.

I didn't put enough shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tgm810
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He took a few days off in February thinking nobody would notice.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReadilyReady
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
Tim worked in a brewery until one day he was fired without notice....

So he went to his boss's office and said, Budweiser?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/freewillson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver...

Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
Just been fired as an interrogator

I suppose I should have asked why

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bajoodle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Why did the grocery store clerk get fired?

He took a leek in the produce section!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VNPimpinella
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
I got fired for wearing a bear costume to work

They violated my constitutional right to bear arms

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
I got fired for calling in sick with Coronavirus.

I guess I shouldn’t have told them I have the booze flu.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
A postal worker was recently fired from his part time job at the zoo.

He refused to address the elephant in the room.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullhead20
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the M&M factory...

...for throwing away all the W's

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
I said to my wife, "I refuse to believe our son got fired for theft as a road worker!"

My wife replied, "Come on Simon, the signs were all there."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insideout97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t believe my son when he said he got fired from a road construction company for theft.

But, when I got home all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Para__Digm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my last job even though I always gave 100%.

Apparently that’s not how you grade exams.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my bank job because I checked a customer’s balance

He fell pretty hard too

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MingeyMackrel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Why did teacher with crossed eyes get fired?

Because he couldn't control his pupils

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/379447984
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my lawn maintenance job.

I just wasn’t cutting it.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Oven fired pizza.....

How’s pizza going to get a job now?

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TB_II
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the electrician's union today for being bad at my job.

All of my co-workers were shocked.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackvishs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was fired from my job when I asked a customer if they wanted "smoking" or "non-smoking".

Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" or "burial".

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RCubed111
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer who got fired from his new office job?

Apparently he misunderstood the term "spread-sheet"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job yesterday

...at the mirror factory.

Reflecting back on it, I can't see myself working there now.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFlipperhead
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
Got fired from the calendar factory

Took a few days off

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jhench78
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Guess who has 7 thumbs and just got fired from the morgue?
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djfromthe90s
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My kid just got fired from his coat check job.

He couldn’t get the hang of it.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who was fired from a cannon?

Unemployed.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mcherniske
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend: Your boss just called to tell me you’re fired, so I brought you your favorite soy sauce.

Boyfriend: Oh, sure! Kikkoman when he’s down!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadacolt45
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the circumciser who got fired because he was careless at work?

...he got the sack

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Raid33
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss fired me for cracking to many Asian jokes.

It ended my Korea.

πŸ‘︎ 270
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the meteorologist who got fired?

The atmosphere at work was too high-pressure and lost his cool.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crash8308
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the orange juice factory because

I couldn't concentrate

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theMasterDerpy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to

taco bout it?

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seegerts86
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I was wrongly fired from my job as a stage designer today...

I left without making a scene.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to refuse to believe that my son got fired as a road worker for theft...

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsKingStar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Shots "fired"
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnny2_yespapa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
After being fired I got a job at the drill factory.

Its pretty boring, but its helping turn my life around.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_clown
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

Apparently you’re not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say β€œget a load of this guy” every time someone walks in.

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kmarkie_mark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the frozen orange juice factory today.

I just couldn’t concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Popepepe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory!

All I did was take a day off!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gearidall_M_Grey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
got fired from a newspaper company for forgetting important text.
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iDarqq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got fired from a job at a convention center explaining in simple terms to businesses why they should come demo their products at our conventions.

It's my exposition exposition ex-position.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eyamxi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
got fired
πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyBlueCat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Wood fired pizza?

Hows pizza gonna get a job now?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waytoomanycups
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My brother got fired from the mortuary for kissing the dead on the throat.

Turns out he was a neck romancer.

πŸ‘︎ 186
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zonecontroljokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the underwater welder get fired?

Because he doesn't work well under pressure!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unimatrix13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired for changing the wood on my jobs counter

I was just trying to spruce up the mood

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cauanguy1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I was fired from my cozy government job for wearing a tank top.

I forgot that you’re not allowed to bring guns on government property.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jrg1281
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
You're fired, Jack. The test results came back, and you tested positive for Coke
πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Got fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.

I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/9w_lf9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
It got fired after that
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jarne004
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the road worker that was fired for theft?

Nobody saw it coming, but when they got to his house all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the doctor fired from his job?

He didn't treat people well.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job at the orange juice factory.

I couldn't concentrate

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday

I wasn't putting on enough shifts

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperMegaPepega
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the calendar factory

How?

I took a day off

πŸ‘︎ 113
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sklus20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the calendar factory. Why?

I took a day off.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the calendar factory

I only took a day off

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thecodotmo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday

I guess I wasn't putting in enough shifts

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/huhmanrawx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoSparky14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.

I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iam-X
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.

I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kas0510
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss fired me for cracking too many Asian jokes.

It ended my Korea.

πŸ‘︎ 133
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently got fired from my job at the bank.

An old lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/camilodmoreno
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I refused to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I got home,

all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iam-X
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

πŸ‘︎ 175
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired at my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance... So I pushed her over.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Leoninator123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday...

I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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