Were going to see alot of this once hurricane Dorian hits southern Florida. And maybe some Axeidental puns that were felled in there.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Daboss104
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 234
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Can an Admin tell me why my post was removed? It was very inconvenient... My whole fence fell down
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/muddoo7887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Wife: "I accidentally fell asleep while grading my student's projects."

Me: "I guess everyone's getting Z's"

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, you're brother named them for you.

Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 25k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Just opened a Christmas card and rice fell out.

Must be from my Uncle Ben.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pengu_62
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I fell asleep during Catholic mass.

I'm a Bored Again Christian.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teeim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....

I can't believe it's not better.

πŸ‘︎ 974
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were eating dinner and some food fell on the floor. My wife said it's fine, just eat it.

I told her it wasn't on the table.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BDubcw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff

Ba-dum-tss

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SSSpartanII
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My father-in-law fell into a giant vat of sliced cabbage.

Now he's my father-in-slaw.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A Norwegian fell down a canyon...

It was a Fjordian slip.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Just gonna leaf this here
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YourLocalRuncle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I was trying to reshape the border of my back yard when my neighbours fence fell over...

Wrong post

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKiwiBlitz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I was walking down a hill and fell down.

That's just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lightguyneb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When the local carpenter was asked what it was like when he fell through a window?

He said,” All I felt was pane.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mydogisadoglol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A book just fell on my head

I only have my shelf to blame.

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I fell asleep before New Years

Then Woke up in another year

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wienerbuttnipple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mechanic who fell asleep under the car?

He woke up oily in the morning

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GitShiggles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy who fell into a well?

Manwell.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Plane_Garbage
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A copy of A Christmas Carol fell on my toe!

It hurts like the Dickens >_<

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I slipped and fell while walking out to the car.

I was pissed. I was mad. I looked everywhere for the cause. But alas, it was my own asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kristhebrown
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Snoopy AKA Snoop dogg AKA the Red Baron has been spotted flying his Dogg house today. It is understood that he defeated his enemies in one fell snoop.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Badwolfgyt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the poor detective say when he fell into the endless pit?

β€œI’m never going to get to the bottom of this.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nwmimms
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I was stacking wood and a piece fell and tried to hit me

He was all bark and no bite

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MoondogGLOVER1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Two antennas met on a roof and fell in love

The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was incredible

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CreepyPastaKing1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I fell into a large vat of curry....

Was in a korma for a month.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my friend a joke and he fell on the floor from laughter

I guess some people cant stand jokes

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OshriM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey... Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage!

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
She fell in love with an archeologist

Her future in now in ruins

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to tell a joke about apartments but it fell flat
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If you fell off a ladder, what would you fall against?

Against your will.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister fell in love with a welder.

She got burned

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My toes fell asleep after I wore shoes that were too small

They're now comatose

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.

It's in A flat minor.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPeteO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
She fell in love with a gardener

She got planted

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow that fell on the floor

Ground beef

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWeirdLama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
She fell in love with a proctologist

Got the ass end of the deal

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
There once was a record store. The owner was seventy-four. One day he fell ill then wrote in his will , β€œbury me with records galore”

It was his vinyl resting place

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister fell for a musician.

She got played

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
She fell in love with a spirit

She got ghosted

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell in a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.

The woman asked the doctor about the baby.

The doctor: Congratulations. You had twins, both boys. They're both fine. And your brother named them a for you.

Woman: No. No. No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name them?

Doctor: He named one of them Pete, after your deceased father as he told me.

Woman: Oh that's actually a very nice name. What did he name the other boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs RePete.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.

I can’t believe it’s not better.

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A tub of margarine fell on my Foot last week

And it's still bruised, I can't believe it's not better.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/not_a_problem69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A pool table!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A book fell on my head today.

I blame my shelf

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PoolSharkPete
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A book fell on my head...

I only have my shelf to blame

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VesuvianLime
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats green has 6 legs and if it fell out of a tree on top of you it would kill you.

A snooker table!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report

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