I guess you could say I like being punished
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did
Tosti-tos!
He thought this was absolutely hilarious. I got a good "har-har" out of it... and promptly repeated the joke to someone else. A bad pun makes you groan; a good pun makes you groan and then tell someone else the joke.
Definitely Not-Z
He always quacks the case.
My dad passed away about 3 years ago. Now that I am a dad as well I thought I would pass on his favorite joke, bear with me cuz its long, but worth it...
A poor man who lives in a straw hut wants to to impress his neighbor. So he works for 3 months, enough to buy a fancy chair at the market. He calls his neighbor over for dinner one night and has him sit in the chair at dinner. He asks his neighbor, " isn't this a very nice chair? " To which the neighbor replies "it's okay i guess"...
Heartbroken, after the neighbor leaves, the man takes the chair upstairs and puts it in a closet and thinks.. maybe it was not a nice enough chair...
He then works 6 months, leaves his little straw hut and hitches a ride to the city and buys an extravagant chair with velvet padding. Once again he has his neighbor over for dinner, this time the neighbor says "it's nice, but I've seen better"
Sad, the man stores the chair in the upstairs closet. But the man could not be deterred.
He then worked for an entire year, left his little straw hut and went all the way to the capitol and bought a gaudy, gold painted chair with lion motifs and silk pillows.
The neighbor comes over to dinner and says. "Wow, what an ugly chair!"
Furious, the man grabs the chair, marches upstairs and throws it in the closet with such force that his entire straw hut collapses.
I guess people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones...
I should’ve known she’d be good at bringing up the past.
ARRRRRR??
No! It's the "C" Matey, it's the "C"!!
Haaand eeeeeeeeeeeeeye.
White Vans
Details are sketchy.
Pear. He always diss-a-pear
a Peek-at-you
"Yo, Duh"!
Phishing.
She shells she shells by the she shore!
Air-vrything.
I'm so proud.
His arr-sea car
One Direction
Tequila Mockingbird
A Barn Raisin'!
Cow-culus.
(Courtesy of my 10 year old.)
But purple is a pretty cool color
NO MORE TEARRRSSSSSS
Traitor-ade
(Gal)lons
Misfor- tune
2:30
HHHHAAANNNDDDDDD EEEYYYYEEEE
