Don't wanna be Obama self. I'm just China to make you happy. Yes, my pun Israel. Norway I'm lying, Syria stuff. You guys Ghana have to Czech these puns. Okay, I think I will Finnish now. I think Alaska guy to help me out because I’m Havana hard time. You have no India how long it took me to make these puns, but I hope they'll help Sweden your day because I Canada think of one anymore. Oman, I think Iran out of ideas Irish I can think of Samoa. I think my Bahrain can’t think of one anymore but Taiwan this to continue. I want Tibet that there are better things to do now. I Belize it’s time to put an end to these puns because I’m Oslo getting Bordeaux this. African hate these puns I want Togo because I Amsterdam tired. I’m Sudan with puns now.
He's living on a pear.
Not sure why. I call it "Minute Rice" and it only takes about an hour to cook.
But when it happens no one’s shocked.
There hasn't been any posts this year!
(Reposted at 12:01 AM 1.1.21 after a duel with autocorrect)
Son: Dad...we need a net.
Son: To catch our flight.
Their names are Sam and Ella.
The steaks have never been higher.
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
because the fist impression is everything.
His brain was so big that it covered his entire car.
Cuz they fast!
Thus truly making them bipolar
Repeatedly shouting “Let that sink in!”
...Because it’s in tents.
She shouldnt be mad, I can stop any time I want
She didn’t want to hear stories about my rooster.
Because seven eight nine ( extremely bad joke I leant in kindergarten btw)
I call him Ratatouille
It was in tents!
A sonic boomer.
"I'm losing my patience!"
Because of this, my dad called me "sun."
Everything was comedy gold.
He must be in some extreme mist group.
He must be part of some extreme mist group.
In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" 😂🤣
She had to. We only had one chair.
It was an Apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Edits: Thanks for all the awards!
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
Off the rails
You add extra RADDDDishes 🤙
There was a race horse named Pat, who was one of the greatest race horses to ever live. He set records that were near impossible to beat. After a long time of racing, he retired to an old stable with some old friends. They were very happy that he retired there to stay with him, and congratulated him on all of his records that he set.
Once Pat retired, he started keeping track of all the up and coming horses that were winning a lot. There was a race horse named Charlie that was doing really great and winning all his races. Pat saw this horse and watched him race. Charlie started to break all of Pat’s records and Pat was a little upset with this.
After a while, Charlie decided to retire after an extremely successful career in racing. By chance, Charlie decided to retire at the same stable that Pat retired in. When Charlie entered the stable, everyone went up to him to congratulate him on his records and wins. Pat went up to Charlie and said, “Hey Charlie congratulations on all of your wins! You broke a lot of my records and I was very impressed.” Charlie responds, “go away old man, I’m better than you ever were.” Pat was blown away by his response. He galloped away from Charlie with defeat.
After a while of thinking, Pat decides to challenge Charlie to a race. Charlie agreed to it and wanted to race right away. He said “We will race to the tree over there and turn around and come back and whoever gets there first will be the winner.” Pat was still healthy but he needed a few weeks to get his legs back into shape for the race. Charlie gives Pat 2 weeks to get ready.
After 2 weeks pass, they are ready to race. “Hey Pat, before we race I want to warn you that I win my races by passing them by the end. So don’t get all cocky and think you are going to win.” Charlie says. Pat thanks him for the warning and they start getting set to race.
The gun sounds and they are off to race. Pat starts out in front, and nears the finish. Out of know where, Charlie zooms ahead of Pat and wins the race.
Pat was very disappointed in his loss, but congratulated Charlie anyways. A dog comes up to them and says, “Wow, that was a fantastic race! Neither of you should be upset with that. You both were so great!” Charlie looks to Pat and Pat looks to Charlie. They are astonished. Charlie says, “Say that again! Say it again!” The dog says a little confused, “Well I just said that you both were so great out there.” Pat says, “Charlie! It’s a talking dog!”
The steaks were too high.