Extreme Pun Combo

Don't wanna be Obama self. I'm just China to make you happy. Yes, my pun Israel. Norway I'm lying, Syria stuff. You guys Ghana have to Czech these puns. Okay, I think I will Finnish now. I think Alaska guy to help me out because I’m Havana hard time. You have no India how long it took me to make these puns, but I hope they'll help Sweden your day because I Canada think of one anymore. Oman, I think Iran out of ideas Irish I can think of Samoa. I think my Bahrain can’t think of one anymore but Taiwan this to continue. I want Tibet that there are better things to do now. I Belize it’s time to put an end to these puns because I’m Oslo getting Bordeaux this. African hate these puns I want Togo because I Amsterdam tired. I’m Sudan with puns now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpareDestruction
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
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My therapist just told me I have extreme difficulty in picking up social cues.

I think she is in love with me.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...

Apparently, nobody was interested in buying β€˜Shatner Panties’.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...

He's living on a pear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What is white and extremely disturbing during lunch?

An avalanche

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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True Story. I went to pick up a couple of Italian Beef sandwiches curbside last night and as the runner approached with my order, the sandwiches broke through the gravy soaked paper bag and fell to the ground. She was extremely apologetic and said she would re-bag them for us. But I was livid!

I mean, I did not pay for ground beef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/casimir1978
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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If a friend left you 12 bottles of wine on your doorstep, would you be extremely....

Grapeful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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My extremely low effort drawn out pun. What’s it trying to say?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C3Slayer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Did you know habaneros can grow in the snow?

You would think they would get cold, but they are just a little chili.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JesseLynx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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My trademark for extremely small grains of rice was rejected

Not sure why. I call it "Minute Rice" and it only takes about an hour to cook.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maximusheadroom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Its extremely rare for a defibrillator not to work.

But when it happens no one’s shocked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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This sub's extremely inactive...

There hasn't been any posts this year!

(Reposted at 12:01 AM 1.1.21 after a duel with autocorrect)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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EXTREMELY proud of my 5 year old son for this uninentional one:

Son: Dad...we need a net.

Me: Why?

Son: To catch our flight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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I'm sorry, but I'm extremely proud of this one, and nobody in the chat found it funny =(
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ennis88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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My twins give me chills, dehydration, fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, and extreme diarrhea.

Their names are Sam and Ella.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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A little extreme don't you think?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geng_r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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There's a new extreme sport - "BBQ Skydiving".

The steaks have never been higher.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danuser8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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JFK was an extremely intelligent man

His brain was so big that it covered his entire car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KonoAnonDa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Great joke, albeit a bit long winded.

There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."

His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"

"Okay son, go ahead."

The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."

His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"

The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."

Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.

"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phrresehelp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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When a cougar gets so old, she needs a hearing aid...

....she becomes a Def leopard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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You never want to challenge an extreme dieter to a footrace...

Cuz they fast!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Polar bears are known be extremely moody and sometimes even mate with their own gender.

Thus truly making them bipolar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssigea
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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A toilet, a urinal and a very drunk sink are all at the front of a club, fighting and arguing with the bouncer to allow them and their extremely intoxicated friend inside.

Repeatedly shouting β€œLet that sink in!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciceromilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Had an argument with my wife...

She keeps forgetting my toast with my breakfast, and I’m extremely lack toast intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yanktank87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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My wife is extremely upset that I've been drinking brake fluid

She shouldnt be mad, I can stop any time I want

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Extremely unique puns - even the shirt is a pun youtu.be/dSoPYdphtzk
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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My girlfriend asked me what my favorite extreme hobby was, I replied camping...

...Because it’s in tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chicoquadcore
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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My date was really excited when I invited her over for cocktails, but she left extremely disappointed.

She didn’t want to hear stories about my rooster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Just returned from my extreme camping trip.

It was in tents!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I have this pet rodent with extremely large feet.

I call him Ratatouille

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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When I was young, I was extremely bright.

Because of this, my dad called me "sun."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentTempestLord
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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What did the doctor say when everybody left his office extremely slowly?

"I'm losing my patience!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingPinTony
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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The question was: "How do people with extremely long fake nails properly wipe their butts after pooping? Saw someone struggling to type on their phone today with those bad boys"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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People who spam gas grenades in shooters are extremely toxic.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkkiller1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What do you call a 60-year old flying in a jet- fighter?

A sonic boomer.

πŸ‘︎ 590
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zuwiboiii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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In an alternate universe, instead of asking for whatever he touches to be gold, Midas just asked for his jokes to be made extremely hilarious.

Everything was comedy gold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Why is six afraid of seven

Because seven eight nine ( extremely bad joke I leant in kindergarten btw)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zellerzium
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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When we got married, I was extremely poor, but my wife stood by me during those times.

She had to. We only had one chair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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What do you call a trian with extreme paranoia?

Off the rails

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bippidybopboop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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In the future...

In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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How do you make a salad more extreme?

You add extra RADDDDishes πŸ€™

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjzona
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops.

He must be in some extreme mist group.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I love extreme camping

It's in tents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanFntastic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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