What do you call really expensive Velcro?
I bought some really expensive, bendable rulers yesterday
I guess they were very flexy
Why are bull testicles so expensive?
Deer testicles are usually under a buck!
Why is buffalo chicken more expensive than regular chicken?
Because buffalo chicken is harder to catch.
Why are new tires so expensive?
A lot of it is inflation.
Bungee jumping is so expensive ...
Expensive fruit. (iaio #100)
When I have expensive medical bills -
Does that mean I had a valuable experience?
How did you find your steak?" asked the waiter of a patron in the very expensive restaurant.
Just luck," the hungry man replied, sadly. "I happened to move that small piece of potato, and there it was!"
I’ve just been informed that a distant relative left me a very expensive watch in his will.
I hope it’s not a wind up
I made the most expensive Mac & Cheese ever.
Why are bridges so expensive?
Darth Vader's suit seems pretty expensive
Must have cost him an arm and a leg
Do I think education is getting too expensive?
I can’t afford expensive art
If Google released a really expensive watch
Buying one would be a Google flex
I thought my dad spent all his savings on an expensive wig.
But one look and I realised it was a small price toupee.
I read it's romantic to scatter rose petals on your bed, but they were too expensive. Instead, my wife and I will just have to make love on..
There was this really advanced and expensive cologne that came out last week.
Everyone talks about Saudi's expensive tastes
Why shouldn't you visit an expensive wig shop?
It's too high a price 'toupee.'
What do you call an Expensive Bell Tower?
My son wanted to join a really expensive math college but he didn't have enough money...
I needed to cosine for him.
Mom moves expensive cuts of beef into the top shelf.
Dad: The steaks have never been higher.
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
What do u call an expensive circumcision
This jerk in an expensive vehicle cut me off and expected me to get out of his way.
Ambulances, I can't stand them.
The most expensive massage parlors make you feel the most energized
Why are balloons so expensive?
The prices keep going up due to inflation
Why are melon’s weddings so expensive?
Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.
In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.
After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.
A man ordered a glass of water at a fancy restaurant. It cost him 10 dollars. When the waiter delivered it, he asked the waiter why it was so expensive.
The waiter responds “It’s tap quality”
I told my wife I was thinking about buying an expensive watch.
Her: How expensive?
Me: I dunno. Maybe $25,000.
Her: You could buy a car for that!
Me: That's a bit excessive -- I don't think it needs its own car.
What did the expensive water say to the cheap water?
I asked my friend who is a major in Geology, what is the most expensive rock in the world?
He replied Dwayne Johnson
A guy walked into a Ford dealership. He saw a car that was really expensive.
He couldn't a-FORD it.
(This is not original, I saw it somewhere else, not on Reddit)
For the past few weekends my wife has done nothing but drag me around to look at expensive new countertops
I'm tired of being taken for granite
What’s more expensive, a ladder or a diamond?
A man is walking into an expensive restaurant when...
A man is walking into an expensive restaurant when he is stopped by the Maitre'D, who tells him that he can't be admitted without a necktie. The man, late for his appointment, runs back out to his car and searches high and low. Finally, out of desperation, he grabs a set of jumper cables, ties them into a rough knot around his neck and runs back into the restaurant. The Maitre'D stares at him for a few seconds and finally says, "Alright, I'll let you in..." and then leans in and says in a low growl, "but you'd better not try to start anything."
I saw today that peanuts have soared in price and Beer nuts are insanely expensive!
Fortunately, deer nuts are still under a buck.
Why did the melons have such an expensive wedding?
..because they cant-elope
why are double amputations so expensive?
they cost an arm and a leg
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