A new disease is sweeping the world. It's a type of nostril infection, very costly to test for
But one man, born with extra sensitive smelling, has been providing free exams to the public to eradicate this new threat. Dr. Theodore Nose of UCH Hospital has a long line of patients waiting every morning, wanting the incredible accuracy of this man.
And as his secretary says...
No one's nose knows noses like Nose's nose knows noses.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captainβs birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, βArrr! That was a costly mistake...β
βWe lost a lot of doubloons.β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
That was a costly joke
π︎ 69
π
︎ Mar 20 2019
My son wanted to go for a costly trip
So I reminded him about all things he could have achieved in life if he hadn't left college.
A guilt trip is still a trip right?
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 16 2019
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
When my wife and I started dating, I took her on a date that cost an arm and a leg.
I guess you could say I went out on a limb for her.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
How much does a chimney cost?
π︎ 729
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
Pecan pie costs 3$ in Jamaica, but it costs $4 in Cuba
These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
I figured out why teslas cost so much.
Itβs because they charge a lot.
π︎ 96
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
It will cost a buccaneer!
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
What music concert costs only 45 cents?
It's 50 Cent featuring nickleback.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Captain Hook was upset about the cost of his ear piercings.
But it was only a buck an ear.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
I tried renting a bounce house yesterday. The cost was twice as much as last year...
Thatβs inflation for you!
π︎ 60
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
A steak pie will cost you $2.50 in Jamaica, in Barbados its $3
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
How much does it cost to get your ears pierced in Tampa Bay?
A Buccaneer
Good win for them tonight.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
The one time I took a librarian on a date, she cost me a bloody fortune.
My own fault though, I kept her out too long.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
DOGE
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
How much did it cost HYDRA to kill Tony Starkβs parents?
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
They say the cost to build Yankee Stadium was just over $2 billion
But that's just a ballpark figure
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
How much does it cost for Santa to park his sleigh
Nothing! Itβs on the house!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Just cost me a $1 to put air in my tyre, when before it used to be free.
I guess, that's inflation.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
How much does Santaβs sleigh cost?
Nothing ... itβs on the house.
(Ho Ho Ho)
π︎ 49
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
That one will cost you
https://preview.redd.it/6f55higqzm061.jpg?width=788&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4d6801bbad07681e2a3170834a834e02b1e4d07
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
I bought a musical instrument for my daughter, which cost me $1000.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
A man who had just died was delivered to the mortuary wearing a beautiful black suit.
The mortician asked the deceasedβs wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit heβs already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says βI donβt care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.β The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, βwhatever this costs Iβm very satisfied, you did an excellent job and Iβm incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?β To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says βthereβs no charge.β Shocked she replies βno really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.β βHonestly maβamβ, the mortician says, βit costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.β
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Our Chinese food came without any cookiesβ¦
π︎ 120
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
Funny how in the past everyone owned horses and only the rich owned cars, and now everyone has cars and only the rich have horses...
My how the stables have turned.
Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
How do I determine the cost of a balloon after adjusting for inflation?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
In Jamaica apple pie costs $2 a slice while in the Bahamas a slice of cherry pie costs $3.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
What do you call a thought that costs money?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
How much did HYDRA's upgrades cost Bucky?
An arm and a leg. Luckily, he talked them down to half price.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Pirate gets his ears pierced. How much did it cost.
π︎ 197
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
"What concert costs just 45 cents?"
"50 Cent featuring Nickelback!"
π︎ 30
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?
Nothing, itβs on the house!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
What concert costs only 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
π︎ 269
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?
nothing, its on the house
π︎ 351
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
I once took a librarian on a date, she cost me a fortune.
My own fault though, I kept her out too long.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
I went into a church and asked the minister how much it would cost to rent a church singing group.
He asked, "do you mean a choir?"
I said, "OK, fine, then how much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How much does a roof cost?
Nothing, it's on the house
π︎ 349
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
π︎ 54
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
π︎ 53
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
How much does a chimney cost
Nothing. It's on the house
π︎ 32
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ear pierced ?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
What concert costs just 45 cents
50 Cent featuring Nickelback
π︎ 73
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
