Economical dad joke

In Oregon (US) every gas station has attendants to pump your gas, and you're not allowed to pump it yourself. When my friend found this out she said "Did you know it's illegal to pump your own gas in Oregon" to which I replied "I guess they're just trying to fuel the economy"

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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2014
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If you sign up for an economics class, you should bring some spoiled milk on the first day.

They’re a big fan of gross domestic products.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/girloffthecob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Why are Tesla’s so expensive?

Because they charge. A lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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I have a joke about trickle down economics...

...but 99% of you will never get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smdouglas2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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Due to the current economic climate, our Diner menu for Profiteroles was renamed to..

..Deficiteroles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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What's the international religion of economics

"Dowism."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty_marshmello
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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It’s not a real economic downturn until people stop buying pre-shredded cheese.

That’s the start of the grate depression

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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Joke I came up with today

So this surgeon always posts pictures of the masks he wears during his surgery on Instagram. He does this every single time he has a surgery, and his nurses can never understand why. Eventually, he garners a massive following on Instagram. So, he goes into his supervisor's room, and he says, "Hello, it's a pleasure to see you". The supervisor says, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" The surgeon says, "Well, my Instagram business is really taking off. I think it would be better for me to quit being a surgeon and focus on Instagram full time". The supervisor thinks he's a little crazy but decides to let him do what he wants. The former surgeon now goes and buys as many masks as he can to sustain his Instagram account. Eventually, he becomes so wealthy that he is able to buy all these lavish things and not have to worry about economic failure. However, one day, he decides to begin posting pictures of medical needles on his Instagram account instead of masks at about the same time that he gets a horrible sickness that is almost always fatal. Because he posts pictures of masks now, his account begins failing, and even though he tries to save it, he's unable. He no longer has any money to treat the illness and is on his deathbed. His entire family is surrounding him, and his father leans in to hug him. As this happens, the ex-surgeon says in a weak voice, "Dad, where did I go wrong?" The dad, with tears in his eyes, seeing what his son has been reduced to and sadly knowing his dear son's death is imminent says, "You post syringe, you lose subscriber"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoPolesGaming
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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People often ask me why I study economics

And I tell them because if it doesn't make sense it doesn't makes dollars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatsashirt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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I saw my sister weeping uncontrollably, worried that her Economics degree won’t land her a job.

I said, β€œAre you having a financial cry, sis?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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in my economics course

http://imgur.com/u7ukdi6

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vivalabanaan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2016
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Me - Dad, I'm dropping Geometry and doing Economics instead.

Dad - I'm glad Euclid that up for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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[request] Puns about economics
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adaml316
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

FeyoncΓ©

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaulmejitesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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Puns for your Economics Professor snoqap.com/2017/04/03/eco…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigtpie1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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I’ve decided that with my stimulus check I’m going to buy a hat, then a shirt, and lastly some pants.

Top down economic stimulation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breaking_linus77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Got my Economics teacher

In my high school Econ we were talking about the 70s

Teacher: In the seventies there was high unemployment accompanied by high inflation. Does anyone know what this period is called?

Me: Economics

Teacher: sigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ejgamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2015
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I went to an economics carnival the other day, but no one was working the rides

I guess you could say it was a Laissez-Faire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sicillet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2016
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I forgot to pay an important bill, but my wife also forgot

It was a real economic co-lapse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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Someone stole my mood ring

Not sure how I feel about that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshtonCroft37
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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President Obama's 2016 Turkey-Pardon Dad Jokes: The Definitive List

[from NPR-- this sub doesn't allow link posts]

The annual turkey pardon is a silly tradition, and President Obama knows it. On Wednesday, before pardoning turkeys named Tater and Tot, Obama summed up his feelings about this particular duty.

"It is my great privilege β€” well, it's my privilege β€” actually, let's just say it's my job to grant them clemency this afternoon," Obama said.

Not in attendance for the president's final turkey pardoning ceremony were first daughters Sasha and Malia Obama, who gamely laughed alongside their father last year. So instead, the president's nephews Austin and Aaron Robinson stood by for what Obama called his "corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."

And thus began a pun-fest for the ages. Here's a list of President Obama's groaners from this year's pardoning ceremony:

"Actually [Sasha and Malia] just couldn't take my jokes anymore. They were fed up."

"What I haven't told them yet is we are going to do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

"Tater is here in a backup role just in case Tot can't fulfill his duties. So he's sort of like the vice turkey. We're working on getting him a pair of aviator glasses."

"I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky. Who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom. Who met their fate with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken."

[After touting positive economic indicators and the low uninsured rate] "That's worth gobbling about."

"We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving. Of course, except the turkeys, because they're already stuffed."

"When somebody at your table tells you that you've been hogging all of the side dishes, you can't have any more, I hope that you respond with a creed that sums up the spirit of a hungry people: 'Yes, we cran.' "

"Look, I know there are some bad ones in here, but this is the last time I'm doing this, so we're not leaving any room for leftovers."

"And now from the Rose Garden, Tater and Tot will go to their new home at Virginia Tech, which is admittedly a bit hokey." (The Hokies are the Virginia Tech mascot.)

"And so let's get on with the pardoning. Because it's Wednesday afternoon and everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a foul mood."

[from NPR -- http://www.npr.org/2016/11/23/503178220/president-obamas-2016-turkey-pardon-dad-jokes-the-definitive-list?utm_source=facebook.com

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/see2keroppi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
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Math Conversions

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

Credit to my economics professor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kleco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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I dadjoked my students today, pretty proud of it actually.

I am a teacher, I teach history first semester and economics second semester.

One student was upset about having so many graphs to understand and learn how to use.

St: I'm ok with memorizing everything about history, I'm ok figuring out how wars started and ended, but graphs...

Me: graphs is where you draw the line huh?

A five on the sighsmograph. Beautiful!

Edit: spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sal6a
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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TIL the host of Dirty Jobs is now a college proffesor who teaches students about money management and how spending affects the world around them.

The course is called Mike Rowe Economics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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What do you call a deaf dog?

It doesn't matter, it can't hear you anyway.

EDIT: Credit to my Economics teacher

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaN_of_AwE888
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2016
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[request] Pun names for a meatball-based food truck

I had to create a fake business idea for a highschool economics class and I'm looking for a funny name to catch people's attention

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devosity28
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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The show "Dirty Jobs" is a great source for learning about the economy

Especially when it delves into the MikeRowe-economics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBrownGames
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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What do you call the study of food-based market forces?

Econom-nom-nomics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moronicuniform
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
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Why did the balloon prices rise?

Inflation . . . . . . . Also serious economic issues in the United States which will hopefully be addressed soon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
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Every year Dad has to tell it to SOMEONE...

"It's a little known fact that the Titanic was not only transporting passengers, but was also carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise from Hellman's factories in England to consumers in Mexico. After the Titanic had made its trip to New York, the mayonnaise-- supposedly the largest single shipment of the stuff to ever be delivered to Mexico-- was going to be dropped off in the port city Vera Cruz. But unfortunately, when the ship sank, the Mexicans had lost all of the mayonnaise they had ordered. Extremely saddened by their loss and its economic consequences, the Mexicans declared a day that would go down in history as a holiday of remembrance and mourning. And every year on May the 5th they would celebrate...

"Sinko de Mayo."

hyuh hyuh hyuh hyuh hyuh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icaz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
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The production staff of Car Talk at NPR
  • Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

  • Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

  • Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

  • Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

  • Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

  • Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

  • Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

  • Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

  • Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

  • Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

  • Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

  • Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

  • Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

  • Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

  • Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

  • Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

  • Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

  • Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

  • Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

  • Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

  • Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

  • Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

  • Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

  • Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

  • Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedPyro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
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I drew it perfectly

I'm a teacher and I love to dadjoke my students. You guys are really amazing.

So I'm teaching economics and we deal with a lot of tables and the like.

I show them the table, point at it and tell them to "draw this table" then I point at a chair and say "then draw this chair" (and they give me the look of pure success).

I got them many times. Today I was lucky to catch it on video. I posted it to Twitter if you'd like to see it (and hear the 5 on the sighsmograph)

https://twitter.com/JoAngryTeacher/status/847162266856439808?s=09

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sal6a
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2017
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If they named schools after their most famous alums.

Actual conversation with my wife this afternoon.

Me: If they named schools after their most famous alum, then I would have gone to "Duane, 'The Rock' Johnson High."

Wife: I suppose so.

Me: Home Economics enrollment would go through the roof.

Wife: confused Why?

Me: So they could smell what The Rock is cooking.

Wife: Oh God, you are SUCH a Dad.

Edit: I apparently can't apostrophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AtomicChicken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2015
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Teacher made a dad joke

In history class, talking about economic impact and prices of goods.

Student: "I hear they're thinking about raising milk prices to around 7 dollars or something!"

Teacher: "That would be utterly disgusting."

Only a slow clap from a couple kids while he wore a beaming smile, proud of his daily dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Kixen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
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Not sure if technically a joke..

Not really a joke, but it sure made me laugh.

A few days ago I was working on an essay about Harriet Tubman. I finished it Wednesday night and left it in the kitchen overnight. At some point during the nighttime my father erased one of my sentences. It was something like, "New York responded to this incident with outrage, with most sympathizing with Tubman over her economic hardships."

He replaced it with, "Harriet Tubman wrote the first draft of the film The Parent Trap on the back of a Carls Jr. sandwich wrapper." I didn't check the paper before turning it in.

My teacher was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hatsforfish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2014
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Story about Buying Bread

A man and his wife enter a bakery to buy some bread. Now these are harsh economic times, and the man says to his wife, "I'm not sure if I want to spend my hard earned money on this bread because I don't know who makes it. I don't know whose hands have been on it, you know?", and his wife replies, "But honey, the baker is our neighbor, Alfonso. He kneads the dough."

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2014
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What is the economic religion?

Dowism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty_marshmello
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My university professor forces the students to buy his book at the beginning of the semester.

It’s textbook economics.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
President Obama's 2016 Turkey-Pardon Dad Jokes: The Definitive List

[from NPR-- this sub doesn't allow link posts]

The annual turkey pardon is a silly tradition, and President Obama knows it. On Wednesday, before pardoning turkeys named Tater and Tot, Obama summed up his feelings about this particular duty.

"It is my great privilege β€” well, it's my privilege β€” actually, let's just say it's my job to grant them clemency this afternoon," Obama said.

Not in attendance for the president's final turkey pardoning ceremony were first daughters Sasha and Malia Obama, who gamely laughed alongside their father last year. So instead, the president's nephews Austin and Aaron Robinson stood by for what Obama called his "corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys."

And thus began a pun-fest for the ages. Here's a list of President Obama's groaners from this year's pardoning ceremony:

"Actually [Sasha and Malia] just couldn't take my jokes anymore. They were fed up."

"What I haven't told them yet is we are going to do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

"Tater is here in a backup role just in case Tot can't fulfill his duties. So he's sort of like the vice turkey. We're working on getting him a pair of aviator glasses."

"I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky. Who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom. Who met their fate with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken."

[After touting positive economic indicators and the low uninsured rate] "That's worth gobbling about."

"We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving. Of course, except the turkeys, because they're already stuffed."

"When somebody at your table tells you that you've been hogging all of the side dishes, you can't have any more, I hope that you respond with a creed that sums up the spirit of a hungry people: 'Yes, we cran.' "

"Look, I know there are some bad ones in here, but this is the last time I'm doing this, so we're not leaving any room for leftovers."

"And now from the Rose Garden, Tater and Tot will go to their new home at Virginia Tech, which is admittedly a bit hokey." (The Hokies are the Virginia Tech mascot.)

"And so let's get on with the pardoning. Because it's Wednesday afternoon and everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a foul mood."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/see2keroppi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
🚨︎ report

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