Because they're calf price
You just pay the cover charge and they'll have you in stitches.
Hello,
I have a friend named Drew who hates it when I use his name in puns. I need more ammo so I thought I'd ask for help here.
https://preview.redd.it/pxoh5zj9c2a31.png?width=564&format=png&auto=webp&s=2c8ea6c5e56b45b1bbeb9a2abe64d3c9e7269b58
They'd be free.
Everywhere I go it is always such a rip off.
It's my way, or the Huawei
Grouperon
The former...
Not today, satin.
Not today.
Because they don't believe in Progressive lenses.
Because it's free of charge.
...an ether/oar situation...
So much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.
When bricks are so much cheaper?
While shopping with the wife today, we found a Lego set on our niece's wishlist that was even cheaper than Amazon. So, naturally, we jumped on it. Going through checkout, I looked at the box, then I looked at my wife. All I said to her was that I hope she would forgive me for what I was about to do. Her response: "don't you dare."
Fast forward 15 seconds, and it's our turn in line. As the cashier is about to scan the toy, I pointed out that the set has 446 pieces. "Is that ok for the 10 items or less line?" My wife quickly told her to ignore me.
It's cheaper than tinsel and baubles.
Her: I love movie theater popcorn so much. It's just so good! Even people that don't like popcorn like movie theater popcorn!
Me: I guess you could say it's...popular corn.
She was not pleased.
I guess it's cheaper than a gym membership.
Because they are cheaper than dayrates.
Because it was whey cheaper
Funny collection of chemistry puns
What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.
Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe
What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A ‘gram’ cracker.
What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.
How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a “carbonkneel”
What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.
How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down
Why do chemistry professor like to
... keep reading on reddit ➡Its cheaper, and better for the environment, so its Eco-no-mic
They are much cheaper. Always under a buck.
Dad: "Why not go to saltdine? It's much cheaper."
We were talking about how in London, there are congestion charges and the parking is super expensive so electricians often hire a driver because it ends up cheaper than paying the other charges.
I said "Trust an electrician to find the path of least resistance."
Parents were about to leave Hawaii after a vacation. My dad texted me if I wanted a coconut, so I answered "sure, why not?"
"Then go to Schnuck's [local grocery chain], they're a lot cheaper there."
Thanks, dad
I joked with him about how the boxes are piling up and I need him to cut them up. He lives overseas so he said that if I buy his plane ticket, he'll come and do the work. I told him that my gardener Ebodio will cut the boxes if I ask him to, and much less money. To make my dad feel better, I (half-jokingly) say that Ebodio's technique is not as good and he will be slower, but he'll be a whole lot cheaper.
My dad's response: "I feel like I am being undercut"
My dad didn't like when people would say "hey" as a greeting. Too informal or something. So when I was a kid, whenever I would say "hey" my dad would say...
"Straw's cheaper"
Dad: Straw is cheaper.
And over the years, I now know to reply with:
"Well, Grass is free"
Dad: Not in California!
I guess he really is cheaper by the dozen.
Unsuspecting straight-person stating the obvious: "You've had a haircut!"
Dad: "No, actually, I had several of them cut.
...y'know, it works out cheaper to have them all done at the same time!"
I should preface this by saying this was on of the best dates I've ever been on, but the relationship also subsequently fell apart because of it.
Anyway, a few years ago, my girlfriend and I had been going out for a few months, and things were great. I met her through a mutual friend of mine at the hospital, weirdly enough. Our friend had gotten in a very bad accident and had to get a glass eye. He would always dab it with cotton to stop the bleeding at the beginning. Anyway, this is all relevant because my girlfriend (not girlfriend at the time) bonded over how disgusting our friends eye was. This got us to talking, and before you know it, we started going out. Things got pretty serious months and months down the line, and I was just laid off from my job. This meant that in general, we would go on cheaper dates. Nothing too drastic. Just like a movie and dinner instead of say the Opera and a fancy five star restaurant.
So, about a year and a half into the relationship, Joe, the mutual friend of ours, suggests a double date with us and his girlfriend. He knew the situation I was in and offered to pay for the whole thing. Great right? Well... no. I was actually planning on proposing to my girlfriend. Except Joe suggested the plans in front of my girlfriend too, so she accepted for both of us. I didn't want to propose to her on a double date, so I pulled her aside and told her to just skip the date and come over instead. Joe had bought us all tickets to a baseball game, and believe it or not, my girlfriend chose the baseball game instead of me. I stayed home alone as she went out with Joe and his girlfriend. Moral of the story is, if it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I'd been married a long time ago.
He lets me know that tonight will be chili (leftovers), and that we can heat it up whenever we want. I tell him he could just wear a sweater because it's probably easier and cheaper. Got a groan in response.
My wife and sister were talking about laundry detergent the other day and her sister mentioned that Tide was coming out with a cheaper version of their detergent. I couldn't help but to chime in with "They should call it low tide"
"What's cheaper, deer nuts or bear nuts?" "Deer nuts. They're always under a buck!"
Dad: Hey is that burger place "Five Guys" good?
Me: Yeah it's okay but it's pretty damn expensive.
Dad: We should go to "One Guy" than... I bet it'll be cheaper!
Father of 12 and inspiration for the books and films Cheaper by The Dozen, Frank Gilbreth reportedly had this exchange when pulling up to an intersection with his car load of kids:
person: hey buddy, what are you doing with all those kids, building an ark?
Frank: Just doing what the good lord told me. All I need now is a jackass! HOP IN!
I told her she will get it if she gets good grades, does her chores or follows the house rules.
Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone because it's either my way or the Huawei.
