The executioner left him hanging.
I was left hanging.
Breaking Noose
Heads will roll if word of this gets around.
Me on the phone with my dad - "I got a cat!"
Dad - "What's it's name?"
Me - "Susan."
Dad - "So it's a girl?"
Me - "Of course...her name's Susan. Do you think I'd name a boy cat Susan?"
Dad - "No...I suppose that if it was a boy, it would B. Anthony."
Good one, Dad...
"The guillotine truly was cutting-edge technology at the time."
A dad within earshot said he appreciated my sharp wit.
Don Quichoté.
New dad 9/14/14, finally can legit post in here (=
Me: Oh, It's International Joke Day!
CW: I have a joke, but I don't think it will go down well
Me: Do any of your jokes ever go down well?
CW: Well, my TV joke normally gets a good reception.
I only have one.
The Americans supported the cause of the French Revolution, but not the execution.
Puns off the names Robespierre, Saint Just, etc especially requested.
Because he was below C-level.
You have to be ruthless.
Unless they're properly executed, that it.
They are expected to make an appearance in Food Court next week.
Good evening. I'll see my self out...
But I wasn't sure how to execute it
What's wobbly in the sky A jellycopter
Not the best execution, but I'm happy he's joining the tradition of bad jokes
It has poor execution .
But he was so badly executed.
Me: She's just a robot, I don't think she ever feels fear.
My son: She's scared of getting Alexa-cuted.
guess it was a pretty good relation-ship
please don't execute me
(Booty Judge)
I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.
Let's see what you can do!
What you need to know about the game:
- You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
- Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
- You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.
That's basically it.
It was found to be crewel and unusual punishment.
R, I, and the seven c’s
It felt like I was speaking to 50 Cent.
I call him my mane man
Got quite a few groans I was pretty proud of today!
We were talking about hiring a new manager for a field team, and it turned out the guy we liked the most had several felony convictions for gun possession.
COO: I'm not sure we can take the risk, despite his valuable experience.
Me: Well guys, at least we know he'll stick to his guns.
I'll make a very good dad one day.
A chem ex
I defended myself saying "I've barely scratched the Surface"
You know how you can tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? ...One will see you later, the other will see you in a while.
Me being the only other dad in the room silently chuckled while the other 3 non-dad executives let out an audible groan.
Linked’in park
CROW-VID-19
He really lost his mind.
Good concept, bad execution.
Via Billboard.
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
Apparently, the board didn't approve of the bottom-up harakiri
The woman tries to pity the judge: -Judge, I carried this child 9 months in my belly, it is the flesh of my flesh and it comes directly to me! The judge is moved and says: -Right mam, but now, lets listen to your husband's arguments. The man prefers to use his pragmatic side, and says: -Judge, when I put my coin in the vending machine,Is the can mine or is it to the machine?
Because they were hair-ticks
Yeah he just left him hanging
