I'm so sorry.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hot_controller
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I really hate wearing this wool sweater that my wife bought for me.

It makes me feel sheepish.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XIIXOO
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Ewe be Ewe
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThoseAreHotdogs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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I hear some of the goats are pregnant

But I think they're kidding.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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A sweater can be an absolute ewe knit.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/felixswan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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I tried roasted lamb for the first time

EWE

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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A sheep dog tells her owner she found all fifty sheep. Her owner says that there should only be 46

The dog says, β€œbut I rounded them up.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoeJascoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Wee fish, ewe, a mare, egrets, moose, wee fish, ewe, a mare, egrets, moose, wee fish, ewe, a mare, egrets, moose...

... and a hippo gnu year.

First saw that one in 1984 and it burned itself into my memory. :)

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matti_Matti_Matti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2014
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I once ate a wool ball

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SAW_eX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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are there any Sheep Puns that could be used to name a Sheep?

Names such as:

Baa-bara

Wool Smith

EWE-NICE

Brittney Shears

John Sebastian Baach

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LUIGIISREAL2017
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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The fact this is a real company is ewe-tterly baffling.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
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Is it called a ewe turn because that's what happens when one sees a pervy shepherd coming?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pi_man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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What do you call a bear with urinary incontinence?

A drizzly bear.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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My apologies, the concept behind this joke is 100% β€œgross ewe”...

144 female sheep.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit!

It was a lambikini

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blood_Quake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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What does a male sheep say when he wants to credit a female sheep?

'Thanks to ewe...'

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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One time in my anatomy class, we dissected a sheep brain and I have to admit, I felt a bit sheepish about it.

Sorry, that was just a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d joke.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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What starts with an β€œe”, ends with an β€œe” and only has one letter in it?

An envelope

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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Where did the shepherd take his sheep after it got lost and nearly died of hypothermia?

The icy ewe.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I herd you
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyle01016
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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One of my favorite ornaments.
πŸ‘︎ 294
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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If I told you I knew a convoluted joke about a golf club, a sheep, a stinging insect, a tree, and that scary clown movie...

Wood ewe bee leaf It?

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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What is a sheep cloner's favorite letter?

Double ewe

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitFartFerguson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I came up with my own dad joke a few weeks ago

My 14 year old daughter got up from the table after eating a bowl of cereal, so I told her to put the milk away. Then we had this exchange:

"Before you put that back in the fridge, why don't you plug it into the iPhone charger on the counter first?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, you gotta charge up that milk. It's only at one percent!"

I say it so often now that my kids stopped eating cereal, and have pretty much cut dairy from their diets.

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doctor-rumack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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I saw a sheep in a swimsuit driving a sports car today.

It must have been a Lamb bikini.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/420ZeusNoScope
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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The neighbour's sheep failed to break into the grain shed.

There was no battering ram.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXSparklePonyXx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Who’s been a baaaaaad girl?

Ewe have!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KhaleesiDog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Did you know sheep can tie up trees?

But I wood knot do that if I were ewe.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/transviolets
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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What’s a sheep’s favorite instrument?

Two-baaaas

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrick23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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What starts with an E and ends with an E, but often only has one letter?
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacca7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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The final four letters in the word β€œqueue” aren’t silent...

They’re just waiting their turn...

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I have this weird talent where I can control sheep just by listening to them.

I herd it with my own ears.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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Why didn't the lamb want to play with their friends?

He was a little sheep-ish.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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Which animal has the most memory?

The Ram

πŸ‘︎ 268
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rethinkr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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Why did the ram fall off the cliff?

Because it didn't see the ewe turn.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
"Honey, you aren't fat...

... you're just more than i've ever wanted."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roxx103
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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My neighbor ran over from his farm and was sobbing. β€œMy sheep are missing!” He cried. β€œMy sheep are missing! Please help me!”

I said β€œthat sounds like a ewe problem.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clubberin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a sheep's favorite song?

Happy birthday to ewe

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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I read an article earlier that said it actually takes three sheep to make one sweater…

I didn't even know they could knit!

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a buffet for sheep?

All you can bleat!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/styxdyxx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
X a sheep and potato?

A ewe tuber

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suamigojose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep...

Fortunately, I was only grazed.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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What do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill?

A lambslide

πŸ‘︎ 541
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πŸ‘€︎ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What word starts with "e", ends with "e", and only has one letter in it?

Envelope.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I just saw a scantily-clad sheep driving a sports car

it was in a lamb bikini

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smartasskicker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report

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