Prisoner: "I'm sorry I tried to escape. "
Guard: "I'm not mad. Just very disappointed. "
REMEMBER KIDS....NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
Escape
A blonde, brunette and a red head escape from prison. While running across a field they hear the guards coming and being tired, the red head suggested hiding in some potato sacks they found.
When the guards reached the sacks one kicked the bag containing the red head, she went meow meow. "Just a sack of kittens" said the guard. Then he kicked the brunettes bag, she went woof woof. "Just a bag of puppies". Lastly he kicked the blondes bag and she went potato potato.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
I saw a lobster escape a grocery store tank
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
No escape from reality
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
Officer: how did the hacker escape?
Me: I dunno, he ransomware
π︎ 33
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︎ Dec 09 2020
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
What do you say to applaud the vermin that managed to escape the breakfast porridge?
Congee-rat-lations π¬π¬π¬
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Imagine you're in a pitch dark room and you have no idea how to escape.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Prisoner - I am sorry. I tried to escape
Guard - I am not mad. I am just.....disappointed.
Moral - DONT LET YIUR GUARD DOWN
π︎ 11
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︎ Oct 18 2020
A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.
The Warden said "he's a little condescending"
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
No escape
π︎ 55
π
︎ Jun 08 2020
How did the computer hackers escape?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
I was just trying to enjoy a day out on the lake. No matter where you are, you can never escape the puns.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
I watched a dwarf escape from prison today. As he climbed down the fence, he smirked at me.
I thought to myself, "Hmmm, that's a little condescending."
π︎ 90
π
︎ May 06 2020
Why did Karen press Shift-Control-Escape on her PC?
She wanted to see the Task Manager.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
Fire Escape
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
How did I escape Iraq?
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
No escape from Realy tea..
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
What do you call a fortune telling dwarf who escapes from prison?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
Did you hear the one about the ice cubeβs great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
There's no escape
π︎ 3k
π
︎ May 28 2019
We should call Ctrl + Shift + Escape shortcut on windows the "Karen shortcut"
Cause it lets you speak to Task Manager
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
So how did you escape Iraq?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
There is no escape
π︎ 67
π
︎ Aug 24 2019
βHey officer, how did the hackers escape?β
βNo idea, they just ransomware.β
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Oct 06 2018
What happens when a panda escapes the zoo?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 29 2020
2 crazy men were trying to escape from a mental facility...
but the only way out was from the roof. They got up there, before realizing they didnβt have any rope. One guy says, βOh yeah! Iβve got a flashlight! Ill point it to the ground and you can climb down the beam.β The other guy says, βWhat, am I crazy? Iβd get half way down and youβd turn it off!β
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 15 2020
Thereβs no escape
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 08 2020
How did the man escape the Middle East?
π︎ 31
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
What do you call a dwarven convict who can talk to spirits and escape prison?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 04 2020
How did the panda escape the hunter?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
To escape the Coronavirus, I wish Iβd had time to isolate myself on Noman.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 28 2020
Microwaving a TV dinner without opening the package to allow steam to escape is the best way to cook it!
It will be bursting with flavor!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 24 2020
Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
How did the pizza escape the oven?
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 21 2019
I canβt see an end, I have no control and I donβt think thereβs any escape β I donβt even have a home anymore!
Definitely time for a new keyboard...
π︎ 122
π
︎ Feb 06 2019
What do you call Batman escapes from a church?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 10 2019
Escape to Witch Mountain
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
Prisoner: "I am sorry, I tried to escape."
Guard: "I'm not mad, just disappointed."
(Remember kids, never let your guard down)
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
"Officer, how did the hacker you were following, escape ?"
"Don't know he just ransomware"
π︎ 113
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
Did you here about the dwarf climbing over the wall to escape prison?
He fell!
It was a little condescending.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
What do you call a Psychic Dwarf that recently escapes from a federal prison?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
How did i escape iraq?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
"Hey officer, how did the hackers escape?"
"No idea, they just ransomware."
π︎ 127
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
What do you call a gnome with ESP that escapes from prison?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
So how did you escape Iraq?
π︎ 60
π
︎ May 20 2019
''Hey officer, how did the hackers escape?''
No idea, they just ransomware.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
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