Erotes Puns

I decided to turn over a new leaf

That slaps people who lie, and be decides to try it out on his son during dinner.

“Where were you during school hours?” He asks.

“At school!” His son replies.

The robot slaps the boy.

“Ok I was at my friends house....” His son says.

“What were you doing there?

“Reading comics!”

The robot slaps the son again.

“Ok ok!! We were watching an erotic movie...”

“What?? I didn’t even know erotic movies existed when I was your age!” The dad exclaims.

The robot quickly slaps him.

His wife laughs and says, “Wow, he really IS your son-“

The robot slaps the wife.

charge: driving erotically

My girlfriend was trying some lotion out and apparently it's all nice and smooth and organic and erotic.

"Honey, it's like it's not even lotion!"

"Wow, you're right. It must be odd lotion."

This guy I work with has been talking to this girl who does this erotic acrobatics stuff, and he was describing her routine to us. Another co-worker goes "That sounds like Cirque-de-Soleil." I immediately followed with, "Yeah, and Greg is going to get Cirque-de-SO-LAID!" My inner dad urges outweighed my self-control.