Don't be a victim of Big Cone Industries. If your old rusty crusty has mildly pitted cones, slap them in a drill, and refinish them with emery paper.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/otterland
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
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SLPT: Need to trim your nails? Go to the hardware store. The display sand paper makes great FREE emery boards.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dotContent
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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How’s best to finish a ring like this? Usually I use needle files, emery paper on a split mandrel and silicone rubber wheels but they’re too big to fit in the cracks of this ring.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keddlut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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What do y’all use to clean the block deck? I’ve tried blades and lots of degreaser and brake cleaner and even 2000 grit emery paper, but I can’t seem to remove the small layer of leftover gasket still visible. Any ideas? Iron block btw.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrandonLopez
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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the back of the sleeve has emery paper so you can strike matches on it, pretty dope
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alex_andria___
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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beIN SPORTS: #AFC and U.Emery have reached a total agreement and he is expected to put pen to paper tomorrow. twitter.com/MrArsenicTM/s…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostOfInnsmouth
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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Horseshoe Angel, Me, Brass Hot Brush/Emery Paper, 2017
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_and_Mrs_Rapp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Horseshoe Angel I welded together. Wings were hot brushed with a brass brush. The rest was polished with Emery paper.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_and_Mrs_Rapp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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What the papers say - Unai Emery imgur.com/gallery/k2y6xDS
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πŸ‘€︎ u/c14kaa
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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My Rifle Paper Co dress. Pattern is Emery dress by Christine Hayes, the lining is Cotton and Steel Mustangs. It has pockets!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/funeral
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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First attempt at jewelry on my Southbend. Scrap brass /bronze, turned, sanded with 2k emery paper, and polished.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Jodie Emery files Liberal Party nomination papers to run in Vancouver East link.brightcove.com/servi…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joecdn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarcasmRules
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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You've been hit by
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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Clean submariner from JTime appears to have β€œscratches” on the bezel markers. How can I fix it? imgur.com/a/UFdxKPx/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sneakers89898
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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[Ignoble] Part 18

Here I am making one of my periodic appearances. I'm still not entirely sure how long these parts should be, but I thought it was about time that I post an update. In any case, I hope you all enjoy, and thank you for reading.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jerold took a moment to regain his bearings as he woke up, simultaneously taking in everything, and nothing. The beeping of machinery, the sound of activity seemingly in another room, his chest throbbing painfully, a bright light situated right above him, and somebody flipping through what sounds like a stack of papers. He groans as he blocks the light above him, giving him a second to recuperate before looking around the room. Everything is white, everything is neat, everything is clean; there’s no doubt about it, this is a hospital. He can’t exactly deduce anything beyond this, the pain in his chest making it difficult to think, and the beeping didn’t help either.
β€œI don’t know how it eluded me, but I never knew your name was spelled J-E-R-O-L-D. I always thought it was G-E-R-A-L-D. Did your parents lose a bet or something?” Maximilian is apparently the one flipping through papers, Jerold can only guess that they’re medical paperwork, most likely due to the fact that super related injuries are always a hassle to report. The headmaster doesn’t seem all that enthusiastic, or worried, or anything really, just his usual lackadaisical self, β€œDo you recall the card you had Ms. Emery give me? She said that you were super cryptic, something about β€˜imminent disaster’. I checked the information on it, it’s just a warehouse, nothing disastrous about it.”

The room falls silent, well, as silent as a hospital room can get. Jerold doesn’t immediately recall that, he knows that he had something that was panic worthy on his mind, but the details are quite fuzzy. He remembers finishing up class, and then thinking really hard about showering, but he didn’t go straight to the shower, he needed something from his room first. And then, and then… nothing, he woke up here. He scratches at his head as he tries to think, his memory refusing to give up anything else at the moment.
β€œI… I don’t remember. I was going to go get something from my room, and then… here. What happened? Why does my chest hurt?” He rubs at his chest gently, wincing as the pain flares up there. He isn’t used to being hurt, onc

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProffesorEggnog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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My wife left me because I couldn’t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now I’m cannelloni

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluestratmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drak0ni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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No gains
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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How eggs-traordinary
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rix27_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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A queen size statement.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flight-less
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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Never going bach to classical music
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Few_Eye6528
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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Geddit? No? Only me?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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E or ß?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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Which actor drives the least?

Christopher Walken

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TR1771N
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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Pun intended.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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No spoilers
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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