I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Here I am making one of my periodic appearances. I'm still not entirely sure how long these parts should be, but I thought it was about time that I post an update. In any case, I hope you all enjoy, and thank you for reading.
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Jerold took a moment to regain his bearings as he woke up, simultaneously taking in everything, and nothing. The beeping of machinery, the sound of activity seemingly in another room, his chest throbbing painfully, a bright light situated right above him, and somebody flipping through what sounds like a stack of papers. He groans as he blocks the light above him, giving him a second to recuperate before looking around the room. Everything is white, everything is neat, everything is clean; there’s no doubt about it, this is a hospital. He can’t exactly deduce anything beyond this, the pain in his chest making it difficult to think, and the beeping didn’t help either.
“I don’t know how it eluded me, but I never knew your name was spelled J-E-R-O-L-D. I always thought it was G-E-R-A-L-D. Did your parents lose a bet or something?” Maximilian is apparently the one flipping through papers, Jerold can only guess that they’re medical paperwork, most likely due to the fact that super related injuries are always a hassle to report. The headmaster doesn’t seem all that enthusiastic, or worried, or anything really, just his usual lackadaisical self, “Do you recall the card you had Ms. Emery give me? She said that you were super cryptic, something about ‘imminent disaster’. I checked the information on it, it’s just a warehouse, nothing disastrous about it.”
The room falls silent, well, as silent as a hospital room can get. Jerold doesn’t immediately recall that, he knows that he had something that was panic worthy on his mind, but the details are quite fuzzy. He remembers finishing up class, and then thinking really hard about showering, but he didn’t go straight to the shower, he needed something from his room first. And then, and then… nothing, he woke up here. He scratches at his head as he tries to think, his memory refusing to give up anything else at the moment.
“I… I don’t remember. I was going to go get something from my room, and then… here. What happened? Why does my chest hurt?” He rubs at his chest gently, wincing as the pain flares up there. He isn’t used to being hurt, onc
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
