Bernie setting the Sanders high!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rheamadaan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Bernie Sanders dropped out...

He is practicing Socialist Distancing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HanlonRazor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Colonel Sanders started playing classical guitar.

It's finger pickin' good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dulkan13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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Why did Bernie Sanders refuse to return to the Senate after the primaries?

He wanted to practice socialist distancing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Bernie Sanders is getting old,

First with the heart attack and now with the strokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guitar_Strap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Did you hear about the temple to Colonel Sanders on the Yucatan?

It's called the Chicken Eatza.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevinh456
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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Birdie Sanders is safe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Billyb0bj03
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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If KFC ran a linux system it would be called "Kernel Sanders"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unit4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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i don’t know why everyone thought 73-year-old Bernie Sanders was too old to run for president four years ago...

...after all, he was in his prime.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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What kind of music does Bernie Sanders listen to?

Progressive Rock

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scorchedgoat
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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As a professional wood sander, girls love my pick up lines...

I'm a smooth operator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does Colonel Sanders keep his armies?

...in his sleevies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bailout911
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Why did Colonel Sanders cross the road?

To get to other other thighs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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Ran the floor sander for hours today...

Feels like I only scratched the surface.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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I have always heard Col. Sanders was supposed to be cremated,

but his family couldn't figure out to go with original or extra crispy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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Letitia Wright who plays Shuri in Plack Panther found out that Thomas Sanders called her a Disney Princess.

She was marveled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alert_Coffee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Bernie Sanders Fridge Magnet. store.berniesanders.com/c…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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I may have gotten a virus when I visited the Bernie Sanders website.

Now it Berns when IP.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uptwolait
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2016
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If Colonel Sanders made popcorn, it would be called Colonel's Kernels.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norskie7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2014
🚨︎ report
I found Bernie Sanders' brother...

I work selling home improvements supplies/ tools in a department store. My co-worker and I were putting new products on the shelves, and I happened to grab some power sanders, so I remarked to my co -worker that

I found Bernie Sanders' brother, DeWalt Sanders.

(DeWalt is a brand of hand and power tools.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seekerman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2016
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Messaging my dad about my excitement to see Bernie Sanders!

Me: I can't wait see Bernie Sanders live!

Dad: Never knew he was dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPaintedLady
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2015
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An unexpected dad joke in the Bernie Sanders AMA
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pater-Familias
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
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