I believe instead of 911 or 112, in case of a medical emergency you should call 12345678
Because that's the proper First Aid number
Did you hear about the computer technician who beat up his boss with computer parts?
It turns out he was a real keyboard warrior.
My Mexican friend takes anti-anxiety medication
It’s for Hispanic attacks
I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician.
And a Czech one too. And a Czech one too.
LPT: Never tell a sound technician how they are doing their job.
I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency...
I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
Why did the Mexican man end up in the emergency room?
A technician was under a server rack doing maintenance.
He was fired for having his head in the cloud.
I jokingly told my X-ray technician that I didn't believe in X-rays...
but she saw right through me.
My boss at the wastewater treatment had an emergency the other day.
A back flow of contaminated water came rushing back pretty fast. I asked what we should do, he’s said “ you tell me. urine charge now.”
Life is tough being an elevator repair technician.
Why did the Mexican take anti anxiety medication
What do you call an emergency in the spring?
Did you hear about the guy that went to the emergency room because he shoved 26 toy horses up his @ss?
Don't worry… his condition is stable.
Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
One time Chewbacca forgot to release the emergency brake before flying the millennium falcon
How do you get a medical liscense in a cult?
You become in-doctor-nated
What's the medical term for a tandem bicycle.
After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
Why did the technician sing to the broken computer?
Trouble-soothing.
My son loves this one with online learning. I only had to explain to him what troubleshooting was 4 times!
I was prescribed medication but I couldn't take it. It was too hard to get the lid off. You might have heard of it...
What kind of fish has a medical degree?
So it turns out Dr. Pepper isn't a real medical doctor...
He has a doctorate in theoretical fizz-ics
Did you know that Dogs, regardless of breed, cannot operate complex medical equipment?
What the medical term for owning to many dogs?
My friend just got a job as a elevator repair technician
they're really moving up in the company.
I had my toes medically removed to protest all forms of hate.
I lack toes in tolerance.
Why can’t your orthodontist release any of your medical information?
That information is strictly confidental
My cousin has a crippling, irrational, fear of being beaten up by Mexicans.
….so his doctor gave him medication for Hispanic attacks.
They've been experimenting with adding rodent DNA to pet medication.
After all, what cat wouldn't want to take his pills if they tasted really mice?
Medical emergencies can be funny, too.
Had a seizure. Epilepsy sucks. I woke up, then this happened.
Dad: "Ah, you're awake. Did you see God?"
I couldn't quite see yet, but I knew he was waiting to say something clever. So I tried to turn it around before I passed out again.
Me: "I don't know. I might have. If I did, he bears a striking resemblance to the carpet."
Dad: "Let us thank the Floored that you didn't hurt yourself."
My stepmother said he made several more while I was out in the ER and in the ambulance.
Goddammit, dad.
What do medical insurance companies call an elective procedure?
My pharmacist asked how my medication was flavored.
So I gave him a taste of his own medicine.
Never lie to an X-ray technician
they can see right through you
I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was rejected
I remember when Viagra was the only hard-on medication...
Nowadays there seems to be a lot of stiff competition.
Tragic news! Bruce Willis has died while on viagra medication.
New medication created. Reduces swelling but makes you swear.
What do you call a canine with a medical PhD?
I really like our local computer repair technician
Every time my speakers don't work he gives me sound advice
I used to have a Russian friend who was a sound technician
And a Czech one too. A Czech one too
I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician.
And a Czech one too. And a Czech one too.
I know a Polish sound technician.
I have a Russian friend who is a sound technician.
And I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?
My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication.
It’s for Hispanic attacks.
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