What do you call paramedics in a rock concert?

Band aid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadowlegend551
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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What did the paramedic say to the patient who needed to vent?

ICU later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dr_gaia
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What did the ER doctor say when the paramedic brought in a badly burnt patient?

Well done

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__________willow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What are paramedics favorite gaming console?

Wii U!!! Wii U!! Wii U!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OldManSaxon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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What's the difference between EMTs and paramedics?

With paramedics, there's two of them.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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If paramedics were also considered as doctors then they would be called as

Paradocs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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2 paramedics respond to a call for a lady with an infected hangnail on her big toe.

One paramedic looks at the other and says, β€œshe doesn’t need an ambulance, she needs a toe truck!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yosup01
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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What did the Martian paramedic say when the caller answered the door?

"Take me to your bleeder."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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What is the most important exercise for being a paramedic?

The deadlift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/appleyaks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Ended up settling on being a paramedic.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bsleffel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
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Why do paramedics always come in twos?

Because they're a pair o' medics!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
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Paramedic dad joke

Just heard this one, as a side note, when a medic refers to a stethoscope they sometimes call them "ears"

Medic 1: "Hey can you grab me some ears"

Medic 2: grabs patients ears

Medic 1: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TILmynameisMike
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2014
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My wife told me she saw two EMTs walking over by the hospital. β€œTwo EMTs?” I asked her...

...don’t you mean β€œpair o’ medics”?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I asked for two doctors

But all I got was a paramedics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What's the occupation that has the most likely hood of putting people in the hospital?

A paramedic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sknabnotloc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What have the romans ever done for us!

Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as β€œfours”?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFishmanau
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Why do ambulance drivers always have a partner with them?

They’re pair-a-medics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skeewbsontwitch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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How many people can ride in an ambulance?

Just a paramedics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Science_Geek_101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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In an ambulance, there is the driver and 2 people helping the injured

They're pair of medics

(Paramedics)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyQueen502
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Red Skelton on excercise

From comedian and film star Β Red Skelton:

β€œExercise? I get it on the golf course.

When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics. ”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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There's a bloke just collapsed on the London Eye.

Paramedics are on the scene and they say he's coming round slowly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Whenever I go running, I meet new people.

Paramedics, mostly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wayno007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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I got a kid that had broke his arm at Big Bear on Tuesday

A kid had fallen right in front of me and broke his arm above the wrist. I went over to help and comfort him. The paramedic came and she cut his glove off, put a splint on as well as a sling. That's when I said "she likes you, so she put a sling on it" the paramedic and I laughed, the kid didn't

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πŸ‘€︎ u/litgoat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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At the drive thru at Starbucks

I was in the car with with both my parents, turning into Starbucks where we see an ambulance parked with its lights flashing. As we get closer, two paramedics come out of the store with a man on a stretcher. My dad drives up to order from the drive thru and says...

"So I heard you guys have some killer coffee."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suchomimus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2014
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Why is there always a passenger in an ambulance?

Because they are paramedics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironandtwine9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
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Fireman told me this one

Really close family friend of ours told us this one that allegedly happened while he was on duty. I'm going to tell it from his perspective, as it reads the 'funniest'.

So I'm on duty and we have to go and put out a simple brush fire off to the side of a busy intersection. Since it's the dry season of Southern California literally the smallest spark can cause a giant fire you know, so we're trying to put it out pretty fast. So we arrive there and we notice that an ambulance is speeding down the road to this one pretty sharp bend, and you know, they're making haste since they're on a code 3. A code 3 is where both the siren and the lights are on at the same time and they obviously have something that they need to do. Anyways, they're speeding around this corner and one of the backdoors gets flung open and a cooler flies out and lands at the curb. By this point we've handled the fire and we're just assessing the damage, like where it's spread, stuff like that, so I go and retrieve the container and I open it and inside there's a human toe in there. I tell most of my crew and we decide that we'll get the toe back to the paramedics and then head back to the station. So we call the emergency services and we let them know that some EMT's have left a human body part and didn't come back to get it. They tell us, "we'll have someone come pick it up soon". We wait about 20 minutes and no one arrives and we're all a bit startled that no one's come back to come pick up a fucking human toe, so we call back and they give us the same thing. Half an hour goes by so I decide to call AAA and see if they can help us. Sure enough, AAA is able to help us and within 10 minutes they dispatch the help we need by sending us a toe truck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XIGRAHAMIX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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What do you call 2 doctors?

Paramedics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/repIies_with_puns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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