What did the paramedic say to the patient who needed to vent?

ICU later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dr_gaia
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What did the ER doctor say when the paramedic brought in a badly burnt patient?

Well done

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__________willow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What's the difference between EMTs and paramedics?

With paramedics, there's two of them.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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What is the most important exercise for being a paramedic?

The deadlift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/appleyaks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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What did the Martian paramedic say when the caller answered the door?

"Take me to your bleeder."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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Red Skelton on excercise

From comedian and film star Β Red Skelton:

β€œExercise? I get it on the golf course.

When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics. ”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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There's a bloke just collapsed on the London Eye.

Paramedics are on the scene and they say he's coming round slowly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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2 paramedics respond to a call for a lady with an infected hangnail on her big toe.

One paramedic looks at the other and says, β€œshe doesn’t need an ambulance, she needs a toe truck!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yosup01
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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I got a kid that had broke his arm at Big Bear on Tuesday

A kid had fallen right in front of me and broke his arm above the wrist. I went over to help and comfort him. The paramedic came and she cut his glove off, put a splint on as well as a sling. That's when I said "she likes you, so she put a sling on it" the paramedic and I laughed, the kid didn't

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πŸ‘€︎ u/litgoat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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At the drive thru at Starbucks

I was in the car with with both my parents, turning into Starbucks where we see an ambulance parked with its lights flashing. As we get closer, two paramedics come out of the store with a man on a stretcher. My dad drives up to order from the drive thru and says...

"So I heard you guys have some killer coffee."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suchomimus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2014
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Fireman told me this one

Really close family friend of ours told us this one that allegedly happened while he was on duty. I'm going to tell it from his perspective, as it reads the 'funniest'.

So I'm on duty and we have to go and put out a simple brush fire off to the side of a busy intersection. Since it's the dry season of Southern California literally the smallest spark can cause a giant fire you know, so we're trying to put it out pretty fast. So we arrive there and we notice that an ambulance is speeding down the road to this one pretty sharp bend, and you know, they're making haste since they're on a code 3. A code 3 is where both the siren and the lights are on at the same time and they obviously have something that they need to do. Anyways, they're speeding around this corner and one of the backdoors gets flung open and a cooler flies out and lands at the curb. By this point we've handled the fire and we're just assessing the damage, like where it's spread, stuff like that, so I go and retrieve the container and I open it and inside there's a human toe in there. I tell most of my crew and we decide that we'll get the toe back to the paramedics and then head back to the station. So we call the emergency services and we let them know that some EMT's have left a human body part and didn't come back to get it. They tell us, "we'll have someone come pick it up soon". We wait about 20 minutes and no one arrives and we're all a bit startled that no one's come back to come pick up a fucking human toe, so we call back and they give us the same thing. Half an hour goes by so I decide to call AAA and see if they can help us. Sure enough, AAA is able to help us and within 10 minutes they dispatch the help we need by sending us a toe truck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XIGRAHAMIX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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