I try to be frank and earnest with women.

In America Iā€™m Frank, and in Europe Iā€™m Earnest!

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šŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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To be frank,

Iā€™d need to change my name

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Bricky-boi
šŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Postpartum counselor said my wife and I are being "the most earnest parents we can possibly be."

I nodded and said, "You know what I mean, Vern?"

My wife didn't get it, but the counselor and I couldn't stop laughing.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/CreauxTeeRhobat
šŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2017
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"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
šŸ‘︎ 9k
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Radish00
šŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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If Netflix did a documentary about the change in presidency in 2016, they should call it.....

Orange is the new black.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/slackbladerered
šŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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The consequences of the earnest appreciation of dad jokes

http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3959

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/irpah
šŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
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I'm not a huge the fan of Aretha Franklin

But I respect her as a singer

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/MighMoS
šŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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The gunslinger walks through the saloon doors...

and he just stands there, surveying the assemblage as the room goes quiet. And suddenly he yells, "All you dirty bastards, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

And the crowd rushing the exists raises a cloud of dust, obscuring vision. When it settled, the gunslinger notices one little wizened old man tucked in a corner beside the piano. The gunslinger walks over, his spurs making a small jingling sound. He stands in front of the still-seated old man. "WELL?," he demands.

The old man looks up earnestly into the gunslinger's face, "Sure was a lot of 'em, wasn't ther?".

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Shagata_Ganai
šŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Dadjoke on eHarmony

Saw this today as I was going through their guided communication. My name is Michael.

http://i.imgur.com/nDuGVN1.png

šŸ‘︎ 1k
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/cybaritic
šŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
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Just got my fiance while watching "Planet Earth"

We were just on the couch watching an episode of "Planet Earth" and during a scene about animals in rivers, she asks me,

"What's the difference an alligator and a crocodile?" in all earnest.

Immediately I replied, "one you see later, and the other you see in a while."

I got the DIRTIEST look after it took a second for the joke to hit home.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/PastaFazool
šŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2016
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57 years after his death, we discovered that this one famous author made a path for small rodents who really want to throw themselves off a cliff...

He called it the Earnest Lemming-Way.

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šŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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I got a new pair of pants that were too long.

I considered taking them to a tailor to get shortened, but I think doing it myself was the more earnest hemming way.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/GodMonster
šŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
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"Serenity Now!" Tom screamed, malcontentedly waiting for his favorite show to start.

Feel free to join us over at /r/TomSwifties if this sort of masochism works for you!

Meanwhile... .
"Quick! Hide all the religious pamphlets!" said Tom distractingly.
.
"I think I'm becoming a homosexual necrophiliac," said Tom, in dead earnest.
.
"Now I can do some painting," said Tom easily.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ArchGoodwin
šŸ“…︎ May 16 2012
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Dadjoked my girlfriend late last night

She's been working nonstop on her dissertation for a few weeks now and is pretty exhausted. Came home from the library at 11:30/12 last night, and as she settled down to do more work:

"Right. Time to start working in earnest."

"Who's Ernest, and why are you working in him?"

she was not impressed

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/wbright92
šŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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To be Frank

I'd have to change my Name

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/nilslorand
šŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
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