Vigorous Puns

Dino-Sore

"I may not make enough money to take you on a fancy vacation, but I can still fuck you on the island."

I laughed so much and game myself a high five.

WOW....I'm cured.

Lice, Lice, maybe?

Son: "Hey son, im DAD!" smiles vigorously

Dad: .....

Dad: Get the belt......

I was having a conversation with a friend about exercise and it goes a little something like this.

Friend: Did you know that the World Health Organization recommends at least 180 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise?

Me: with a grin on my face Who?

Friend: The World Health Organization.

Me: again with same expression Who?

Friend: getting annoyed THE WORLD HEAL... shoots me the dirtiest look

My fiancé and I were sitting on the couch after dinner and she picked up her empty glass and said, "I'm thirsty."

My eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning. I turned with entirely too much vigor and extended my hand to her in greeting. And before I could say anything she said, "haha nice to meet you. You're so funny."

Does it still count as a dad joke if you don't even get to say it?

He vigorously shook a blank cassette tape and handed it to me.

Dad: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Me: ehm?

Dad: 'Puts on German accent' One.. we are efficient and have no sense of humour

Then he starts laughing vigorously and walks away proud as a peacock

Me: Stomping on beetle Dad: What are you doing over there? Me: Trying to kill this beetle. Dad: Which Beatle? John Lennon? Ringo Starr? Paul McCartney? Me: Haha no. stomping vigorously It's the stupid kind that doesn't DIE! Dad: ...Well we know it isn't Lennon.