Don’t feel bad when your phone changes β€œfucking” to β€œducking”

It’s still fowl language.

πŸ‘︎ 416
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OddLead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My headphone ducking station
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unc3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Ducking Hilarious Dad Joke

How did the duck fail to rob a bank? It couldn't quack the safe!

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Memes_Critic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Autocorrect changes "fucking" to "ducking" because it knows you want to use fowl language.

It was suggested I post here.

πŸ‘︎ 396
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warlizard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
🚨︎ report
The reason why your phone autocorrects to β€œducking” is because robots

Prefer fowl language

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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Wish these physicists would stop ducking around
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blacky_1207
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Give me your best duck puns

I live for them, they quack me up. Give me what y'all got >:)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HartzelloS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Duck puns

I may be a goose, but I sure am quackers

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_hard_pistachio
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
🚨︎ report
A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.

He orders a drink, and asks for the check.

Duck billed platypus.

Edit: Thanks guys.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The police arrested a duck.

He sold quack.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hashtagcop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you call a duck that does drugs?

Quackhead.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tchibodacoffee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
A chicken and a duck are stood by a road

Chicken clucks to his friend "don't do it mate, you'll never hear the end of it!"

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzy-chin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I ordered a large duck at the Chinese last night.

The bill was huge.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a ducks favorite drug?

Quack...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kadogun_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What do avocado-loving ducks say?

Guac Guac

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a subatomic duck say?

Quark!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a duck that steals?

A robber ducky.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Looks like I have all my ducks in a row
πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyCatSkits
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a duck’s favourite drug?

Quack.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShaunUgLee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Even though I'm an avid duck and goose hunter, I don't own any calls.

My wife doesn't want me using fowl language.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the duck say to the boys?

Quack open a cold one

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boardzeroo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?

The duck was selling quack

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWolfman29
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Propmaster ducks out with 3 puns in succession youtu.be/xl89HhusW4c?t=35
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Syllogism19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens when you unintentionally step on a duck

A quackcident

πŸ‘︎ 674
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metaldom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. β€œHey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?”

Because the chicken had the day off.

Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isn’t divulging her sources. Hilarious.

Edit: The first joke she’s told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)

πŸ‘︎ 679
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EagleTG
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
it's day 22 of drawing puns for inktober. Duck tape
πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aesewiii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Pawesome puns
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meow__meg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the duck have to attend rehab?

He was a quack head

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of drugs do ducks do?

Ans: >!Quack!<

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Midnight1938
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other?

Very Quackly

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I won't let my daughter near ducks...

Due to their fowl language

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a debt collector say when complimenting a duck?

β€œYou have an outstanding bill!”

πŸ‘︎ 635
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πŸ‘€︎ u/medimanager
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A duck walks into a bar

and orders a drink, then a little while after he finished that drink he ordered another and he accidentally drops the glass containing the drink and he says to the waitress put it on my bill, so the waitress begins to grab the glass shards that were on the ground and carefully placed them on the ducks bill and the duck asks what are you doing and the waitress says I’m putting it on your bill and the duck sarcastically says ohhhh you really quack me up and the waitress says oh I'm sorry did I ruffle your feathers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-awsome-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I want to get a pet duck

But I’m broke and I hear they come with a huge bill.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loonmaster2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Daffy Duck went to Porky Pig’s house. When he arrived he used the bathroom, but there wasn’t any toilet paper. Daffy yelled for Porky and Porky replied:

Bidet bidet bidet, that’s all folks.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you hit a duck on the freeway?

A quack in the windscreen.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatostomach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?

More ducks

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimplisticAnswer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't ducks tell jokes while they're flying?

Because they would quack up!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/milsificent
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
They tried to make a diamond shaped like a duck

But it quacked under pressure

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have feathers??

To cover up their butt qwack

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBrothaScott
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a duck with one eye?

A dick.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatostomach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I got home from work angry and tired, so I asked my wife if she could make turkey and duck for dinner.

I was in a fowl mood.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Claytonjdawson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Bought a new muzzle for my pet duck the other day.

Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover it's butt quack.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SunnySideUp145
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Life Pro Tip ~ Don't ever put ducks in a cement mixer because…

You'll get quacks in the pavement!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I need duck puns

I’m going to be a duck for holloween I need some duck puns please help

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ducks-Are-Betterr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I need duck puns for the love of god

plz

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TAmaL3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2016
🚨︎ report
I need as many duck puns as you guys can give me.

My marketing class is doing a fundraiser for the girls basketball team and it involves chucking rubber ducks.

The event is called chuck a duck and I need as many punny ideas to photoshop into posters as possible.

Also historic events that replace people with rubber ducks helps too.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzyblackyeti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
🚨︎ report
What does a subatomic duck say?

Quark!

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the chicken say to the duck at the side of the road?

DON'T, you'll never hear the end of it

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a duck that's high on drugs

A quackhead

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_boogeyman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do ducks smoke?

Quack

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I need duck puns! Right now! Please help!
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalcoFear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2015
🚨︎ report

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