I'm half Irish and half Jewish, so...

I'm drinking if you're buying

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📅︎ Oct 06 2016
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A pail o' puns!

1. What is the most important drink in life?

Vitali-tea.

2. What do you call an uptight man with wet tapestry?

A wet blanket with a wet blanket.

3. Describe an uptight man with an erection holding an alcoholic beverage.

A stiff with a stiff with a stiff.

4. What do you call introverted window blinds?

A shutter-in.

5. What do you call an uncooked deer cookie?

Dat doe dough 'dough.

6. What do you call a plant's religion?

Agri-culture.

7. What do you call a football players' phone charger?

A Charger's phone charger.

8. What do you call a clock tower striking twelve?

High noon.

That's all I got.

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📅︎ Jun 13 2016
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Dad got me on my birthday

Me: Yea my friend is studying plants, what's the major called? Dad: Horticulture?

Me: Yea that one! Anywa-

Dad: You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her drink

Dammit

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👤︎ u/Navico1994
📅︎ Sep 21 2014
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