Don't know if this was posted here before
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︎ May 10 2021
My wife said, βI donβt really understand the science behind human cloning.β
I said, βThat makes two of us.β
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︎ May 09 2021
Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?
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︎ Apr 07 2021
My father used to say, "You don't always get what you pay for."
Lovely man, terrible delivery driver
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︎ May 28 2021
There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..
..they make me feel even number.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
How do you measure a snake? In inches, because they donβt have feet.
But you measure rattlesnakes in meters, because they have rhythm.
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︎ May 29 2021
I meant to cross post it but I donβt know why I cannot cross post so here is the screenshot version
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︎ Apr 23 2021
I don't even know how many puns I made here. I am a pun-aholic.
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︎ May 01 2021
I donβt understand why my son was so upset I gave him broken down cardboard for his birthday.
Heβs the one who kept asking for an ex-box.
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︎ May 27 2021
Sometimes I use big words I don't understand
Just to make me sound more photosynthesis
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︎ May 13 2021
I don't trust artists
They're always so sketchy
π︎ 179
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︎ Jun 02 2021
Donβt you guys hate it when you have hare in your soup
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︎ May 19 2021
Don't think too much
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︎ Apr 11 2021
Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to βDonβt Stop Believingβ.
It was an unexpected Journey.
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︎ Mar 13 2021
If you get lost in the Canadian wilderness, donβt panic unless you see at least one grizzly.
Thatβs the bear minimum.
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︎ May 17 2021
You know why people with perfect lawns donβt keep chickens?
Their yards are impeckable.
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︎ Jun 02 2021
Why donβt cannibals eat clowns?
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︎ Jun 02 2021
Why donβt vampires play poker?
They are afraid of the stakes
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︎ May 02 2021
PLEASE BE CAREFUL! I donβt know if this is a scam or not?
Iβve just received a phone call saying Iβve won Β£250 or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show, then it said just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.
Has anyone else had this?!
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︎ May 30 2021
My mam used to say you don't appreciate something enough till it's gone
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︎ May 17 2021
Why don't dwarves like cocaine?
Because they can't get high enough.
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︎ May 30 2021
I donβt mean to brag but...
Cashiers are always checking me out
π︎ 72
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︎ May 29 2021
I don't mean to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, I know what all you are thinking right now. "It's spelt psychic, you idiot. "
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︎ May 02 2021
Why don't celebrities ever complain about being hot?
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︎ Jun 03 2021
Know why they don't play poker in the jungle?
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︎ May 31 2021
I donβt always tell dad jokes yβknow.
But when I do, he always laughs.
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︎ Jun 06 2021
Some famous musician I donβt even like keeps asking me to blow air on him whenever he gets hot, and I donβt like it.
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︎ Jun 03 2021
Youβre doomed if you donβt know what βsuffixβ means
It really is the end of the word
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︎ May 29 2021
I don't want to see anymore tampon jokes here
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︎ May 25 2021
Why don't cannibals ever cook noodles?
π︎ 146
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︎ May 06 2021
I donβt like pencil drawings of dark alleys
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︎ May 09 2021
I don't understand the controversy behind cloning.
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︎ May 16 2021
Iβll be honest, I donβt trust the stairs in my house.
Theyβre up to something...
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︎ May 19 2021
I don't have a dad bod.
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︎ May 07 2021
Iβve noticed lately that my feet donβt smell very good.
So Iβve started using my nose instead.
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︎ May 27 2021
Don't tell me you're gonna pork Marlene Desmond
https://preview.redd.it/vtdt7snrx6271.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02206bbcb186832a7f67d4ab7e481eee1f7fc92b
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︎ May 30 2021
You don't like this joke,
π︎ 9
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︎ May 27 2021
I find it hilarious when people use big words they don't fully understand to make themselves feel more...
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︎ May 25 2021
I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"...
But it's just a curd to me...
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︎ Jun 03 2021
Why don't giraffes play basketball at the zoo?
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︎ May 19 2021
Don't try to "go Inception" with window installment
It's a real pane in the glass!
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︎ Jun 05 2021
My wife told me she would bang my head off the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I don't believe heryhhxfukklo8764eh89kg4ghi9hde3yhoonib7v6c5x4xv9n8vx4&6c79b9n
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︎ May 17 2021
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
π︎ 11
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︎ Jun 03 2021
Siri just said βI am serious, and donβt call me Shirley.β
Turns out Iβd left my phone in Airplane mode.
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︎ May 14 2021
If you fail a test in Cosmetology school, don't worry.
There will be a makeup test soon.
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︎ May 22 2021
Yes don't forget to take it.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Mar 03 2021
I donβt mean to brag, but...
Cashiers are always checking me out.
π︎ 376
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︎ Apr 23 2021
I don't often tell dad jokes.
But when I do, he laughs.
π︎ 63
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︎ Jun 01 2021
Don't know if this is a scam, but I just received a text saying I'd won Β£250 cash or 2 VIP tickets to an Elvis tribute night.
It says, " Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show...."
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︎ May 29 2021
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