I asked my wife, "What do you call a group of babies?" She replied, "I don't know, what?"
"Hey son, do you know how to make Easter easier?" Puzzled, he responded, "I don't know dad, how?" I smiled and replied...
"Just replace the t with an i!
Do you want to know about the 12 things that I don't care about?
Nevermind, it dozen matter.
What do you say when three wise men you don't know show up unannounced?
My friend said you don't know jackshit.
I told him I only know jackfruit.
Do you know why they don't send donkeys to school?
Nobody likes a smart ass.
My dad's favorite to a smart-ass kid
A woman was sipping a glass of wine while relaxing with her husband... "I love you so much, she said, I don't know how I could live without you:
Her husband asked, "is that you or the wine talking"?
She replied "it's me, talking to the wine"
I don't know, I hear Germans' skepticism of nuclear power, but don't you think they are just...
The greatest Dad joke ever told: so Moses goes to the top of the mountain and God presents himself and his glory to Moses via the burning bush. Moses is confused though and says to the heavenly father "I'm bewildered, I don't know what to call you?"
So God says to him "Hi Bewildered, I AM".
Do you know why we don't talk about Bruno?
Because we sing about him.
Did you know that Tesla's don't have a "new car" smell?
Did you know they don't get any hi-def signals in South Dakota?
You know why smoker's dont use matches anymore?
Because they went on strike
You know, I really don't understand why everyone likes the Shrek movies so much.
I personally find them pretty mediogre.
My boss said "You've been late 5 days this week. You know what that means, don't you?"
I said "I certainly do. IT'S FRIDAY!"
Did you know that people in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones?
But people in Abu Dhabi do.
You know, termites don't actually like wood...
You know, Most prostitutes don't have AC in their homes
You wanna know why I dont like people talking about me?
Because they discussed me.
I explained to my son, "You order one pizza and you love it. Next time you order a pizza and a garlic bread. Before you know it, you're eating pizzas for every meal and you get withdrawal symptoms if you don't get one."
"That's the Domino effect!"
Did you know the they don't allow laughing loudly in Hawaii?
They only allow a low ha.
You know why the Star Wars characters don't use Iphones?
Because they only have Androids
Did you know garbage men don't get any training?
They just pick things up as they go along.
You don't wanna know what is the method to create a big hole in the ground.
Do you know why the north and south pole don't get along?
"you're such a weirdo, Juan", to which he responded "you don't know me"
Because it takes Juan to know Juan
Dad, showing me his pinky : "Did you know that the Chinese don't have that finger ?" Me : "What ? No." Dad : "wanna know why ?" Me: "yeah"
It's because it's MY pinky.
Cheap Phineas and Ferb pun; I know it sucks you don't need to tell me
Why couldn't Doofenshmirtz do his fractions?
Because Perry got rid of the denom-inator
How do you call something that makes a lot of sense for people who know how to count if you dont?
did you know that stippers dont have airconditioning in their homes?
Today I don't have a dad joke for you. I have a dad fact. Did you know humans eat more seeds than birds?
It's true! When was the last time you ate a bird?
Do you know about the rock band that has 4 men who don't sing
They're called Mount. Rushmore
Do you know why I don't trust atoms
Did you know that fully grown deer don't like melted cheese?
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're...
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
Do you know why I don't like Paper?
Because it's tearable!
I know this is not original (plenty of renditions out there), but my 8 year old made it up herself. So not only is it original to her, she made my day.
Do you know why monsters don't eat ghosts?
You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow
Do you know why keyboards don't get sleep....
Cos they have 2 shifts...
You know, I don't understand why so many people complain about acne. I mean, don't people usually have twoknee?
Did you know ants which have a little more height, don't have toes?
Because they lack toes in taller ants.
You wanna know what I don't like about babies?
They're all born with da fetus attitudes.
What?! You don't know what a zombie's least favorite food is? You'll figure it out
it's a no-brainer really.
Did you know Teslas don't have that new car smell?
They have more of an Elon Musk.
Did you know that the people in Dubai *really* don't like the Flintstones?
But those in Abu Dhabi do!
Dif you know people from dubai don't like the flintstones....
But people from Abu Dhabi doo..
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