24 Hilarious Don't Stop! Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry puns

So from today I'm detergent to be better.

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👤︎ u/Trev2-D2

📅︎ Jan 17 2021

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Bilbo Baggins suddenly wakes up and hears someone singing “Don’t stop Believing”.

It was an unexpected Journey.

👍︎ 13k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Oct 18 2020

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Son, remember if your parachute stops working mid-air, don't panic.

You'll have the rest of your life to fix it

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👤︎ u/fit-predict-profit

📅︎ Oct 28 2020

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A woman driving a minivan with 7 hyperactive kids gets pulled over for running a red light. The cop says “Don’t you know when to stop?” The woman says...

They’re not all mine.

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/CaymanRich

📅︎ Sep 19 2020

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My wife said she's gonna leave me if I don't change and stop reading erotic novels

I decided to turn over a new leaf

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👤︎ u/19BlackHeart99

📅︎ Sep 29 2020

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When you see a person person at the bus stop with no arms and legs don’t start a conversation with...

“Hi, how are you getting on?”

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/cwwspurs

📅︎ Jul 23 2020

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My wife told me she'd leave me if I don't stop making Microsoft puns, and I need some advice

I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...

PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?

👍︎ 9k

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👤︎ u/Maimonides_vii

📅︎ Aug 21 2018

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My wife said she's going to leave me if I don't stop with the click bait

You wont believe what happened next!

👍︎ 98

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👤︎ u/karma-enigma

📅︎ Feb 28 2020

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and they don’t stop coming

👍︎ 20

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👤︎ u/Prismblast7

📅︎ Feb 19 2020

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My wife: Why don’t you stop telling terrible Dad jokes and write a book instead?

Me: That’s.....a novel idea.

👍︎ 235

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Oct 04 2019

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Guys, stop reposting other people's puns. Don't turn this sub into a post apocalyptic wasteland.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/The_Creator8888

📅︎ Nov 05 2019

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I was standing with my friend at a bus stop yesterday when he said to me "I don't think you quite understand irony"

Which was ironic because we were standing at a bus stop

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/pray4judo

📅︎ Feb 26 2019

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A sweet old man who stops by to chat when he goes out for a walk told us this joke. (His wife had said "Don't tell anyone your silly joke... It's horrible.")

Old Man : "Never fall in love with a tennis professional."

Us : "Why Not?"

Old Man : "Because love means nothing to them."

👍︎ 4k

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👤︎ u/CapnFancyPants

📅︎ Aug 31 2015

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As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! I can't make it! DON'T! CAN'T! WON'T!"

"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/KairuSmairukon

📅︎ May 07 2019

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"Dad, when will you stop using slang that you don't understand?"

Not yeet, son!

👍︎ 20

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👤︎ u/vaxis2113

📅︎ Oct 25 2018

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A guy walks up to his son and says,"Son, if you don't stop touching yourself, you will go blind."

Son says,"Dad, I'm over here."

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/TherealZaneJT

📅︎ Apr 13 2019

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I don't see how me exercising will stop children from losing their parents

but people keep telling me it helps end orphans.

👍︎ 25

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👤︎ u/Twigsnapper

📅︎ Apr 30 2016

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Don't you just hate it when someone stops telling a joke halfway through, and

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/Dracovis

📅︎ Mar 25 2015

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Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to “Don’t stop Believing”.

It was an unexpected Journey.

👍︎ 2k

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Aug 23 2020

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Bilbo Baggins suddenly woke up to “Don’t stop Believing.”

It was an unexpected Journey.

👍︎ 76

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Oct 28 2019

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Bilbo Baggins woke up suddenly to “Don’t stop believing!”

It was an unexpected Journey.

👍︎ 232

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Dec 25 2018

🚨︎ report

Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to “Don’t Stop Believing.”

It was an unexpected Journey.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Feb 10 2019

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Dad: "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you'll go blind!"

Son: "Dad, I'm over here..."

👍︎ 11

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👤︎ u/xevetv

📅︎ Mar 04 2019

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Bilbo Baggins suddenly wakes up to the song Don’t Stop Believing.

It was an unexpected Journey.

👍︎ 46

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jun 25 2018

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