A list of puns related to "Don't Bother Me"
I've never been caught.
So I asked him how much it costs and whether or not it works.
"Did you hear my joke about the Indian chief's wives?"
The first wife lived in a hut made of deer hide, and bore him one son.
The second wife lived in a hut made of bear hide, and bore him one son.
The third wife lived in a hut of hippopotamus skin and bore him twin sons.
"Thus the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of two hides!"
A fucking mad lib on the Pythagorean theorem. I'm pissed. He's so happy. Love you dad.
Shoe fly don't bother me.
Because I don’t let shit bother me
My dad called me out of my room, asked me what I was doing and I told him I was revising (insert quote marks around that for yourself if you'd like). He asks me to look in the car and there's a whole crate full of packets of salt that are all leaking. That sounds weird, and to be honest it is, but my dad works at a supermarket and gets to take home faulty merchandise so I though nothing of it. He asks me to move it all into the garage, so I do so.
Then he tells me: "Actually, put it in the shed". Now I'm confused since we don't have a shed, and so I asked him what he meant. He tells me, "The one in the old house". We own two houses - our first one, and our new one, so I thought alright that's enough; the house is a half-hour walk and I honestly cannot be bothered for him asking me to walk that half an hour whilst I could be revising so I get a bit mad and just tell him straight.
He gives me a little smile and just says "Don't get salty and start shedding tears, I'll do it then". He gives me a little smile and just walks off. I'm honestly so glad I'm moving away for uni next year.
We were watching TV when she said her back was sore and the conversation went like this:
Her: My back is bothering me a little.
Me: Do you want an aleve?
Her: I mean I guess if you don't want me to stay.....
I was confused for a second till I realized what she thought I said.
Dad: Did you know Starbucks sell designer clothes?
Me: No they don't...
Dad: They do - just got a pair of Kappa Chinos
I didn't even bother replying.
It read, "If you're six feet under, don't bother messaging me."
Hi /r/dadjokes. My girlfriend, who am still love, left me yesterday. My wolrd is just being destroy. Even if the separation goes great, I will lose my daughter for days at the time. I can't stand that I won't be there with her every day, every morning when she wakes up.
Anyway. I don't want to bother you to much. It's just that /r/dadjokes is my favorite sub. I think I need some laugh. So here it goes, dads, do your magics.
--->I'm sad<---
Me: "You know what bothers me? We (Canadians) can't sing the "Canada In Our Pockets" song anymore because we can't say the lines "-A penny and a nickle and a quarter and a dime." We don't have pennies anymore :(
Him: Hmm, I guess your right. That just doesn't make any cents.
Wife: What would you like for dinner? Me: Don't bother cooking. I'll just make a shin sandwich. Daughter: Shin sandwich?!? Me: Yeah. You know. Below-knee.
Sister: I think I'm going to get her a Frozen blanket
Me: Don't bother. By the time it gets here it'll have thawed out
I was standing at the counter with one of my employees and we were discussing the fact that the scanner doesnt work very well.
Employee: I think its just an ethernet cable.
Me: Change it out with register 3 and I'll order a new one.
Customer: Don't bother, its an ethernet cable, so ether it works or ether it doesn't.
Groans all around.
I was sitting at the kitchen table earlier today eating lunch when my dad let out a echoing fart.
I told him "Dad I'm eating lunch"
He looked at me deadpan and without skipping a beat said "Oh don't worry you're not bothering me."
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