I'm not very clever, looking for some help with dog puns
So I have this app that is centered around dogs. I'm introducing a level system with 7 levels and need clever dog pun names for each level. I have a list here of the gist of what the levels should mean, but they are too boring as of now. Would love to see your pun skills at work!
- 1: Amateur
- 2: Junior Varsity
- 3: Varsity
- 4: Park Captain
- 5: Professional Player
- 6: Park All-star
- 7: Olympian Dog
Thanks! :)
Hot Dog Puns
a friend's text to me: I have eaten three mini hot dogs
my response:
Frankly, that sounds delicious
I declare you the weiner of the food contest
I hope you dance your buns off
I relish the opportunity to ketchup at a later date
I feel like I could have done more - any other good ones out there?
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the street.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
My wife asked me today if I had seen the dog bowl.
I said no I didn’t know he could.
Wood you say my dog is ok?
I accidentally used the dog shampoo today....
I'm feeling like such a good boy.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it
What do you call a dog without legs?
It doesn't matter what you call it, he's not coming.
I adopted my dog from a blacksmith
As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.
Smart dog originally from R/Memes but crossposts aren’t aloud
2 dogs walked in a bar...
Why are dogs better at playing classical music than cats?
What did the cheese-maker say after he made a dog out of cheese?
What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl
...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.
Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '
Thank you for the awards
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
What did the dog say to the dogwood tree?
Nice bark!
From my 7yo this morning.
I can't take my dog to the lake anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.
That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Did you know that Dogs, regardless of breed, cannot operate complex medical equipment?
I went to this zoo yesterday and they only had one dog.
What the medical term for owning to many dogs?
Why should you never go for a jog if it is raining cats and dogs outside?
You might step in a poodle!
(from my 70 year old uncle)
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
I asked my dog what's two minus two.
I named my dog 6miles. So I can tell people I walk 6miles every day!
I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep biting him.
I should have known this would happen. He's pure bread.
I’ve trained my dog to go and fetch me a bottle of wine.
My dog used to bark Bow-Wow! Older now, he goes AARP-AARP!
Why was the dog an alcoholic?
Because he had a ruff past.
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
True story: many years ago I adopted a new dog. Took him to his first visit to the vet.
The lady at the vet: “what’s his name?”
Me: “The shelter told me his name is Toby”
Her: “Well, what does he think his name is?”
Me: “........ Kunte Kinte”
She didn’t get it. Once in a lifetime joke wasted.
Was flattered by a bench at a hot dog restaurant.
I heard that fish are good for your dog's health.
Why are dogs and seniors similar?
They both bark at anything thats on their lawn.
My dog chewed up a bunch of stuff yesterday. Now he’s feeling gnawseous
Before I join a contest, I always make my dog urinate on a photograph of the other contenders.
It gives me a leg up on the competition.
I read a book about an immortal dog the other day.
it was impossible to put down.
They finally found out what makes dog sick
My dog lost his favorite toy this week...
What do you call a dog, with no legs?
It doesnt matter, he is not coming
Why did the dog bark at the tree?
Because the tree barked first
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the side of the road ...
They charged her with littering!
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