Whatโ€™s the sign of a really dedicated hot dog eating contestant?

They relish the competition.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Jester57
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 20 2021
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One cat sees another cat eating a hot dog PLAIN, and says

"Hey Cat, 'sup?"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/professorf
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 13 2021
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There are no losers when eating hot dogs. Only wieners.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 40
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/wyllyam1111
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 19 2020
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My dog Minton has a terrible habit of eating shuttlecocks....

Bad Minton.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 22 2020
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I recently caught my dog eating my Scrabble tiles

I lost it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/An_Imperfect_Guy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 26 2020
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My dad won the local hot dog eating contest

He's an Oscar Myer Winner

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JBaczuk
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 10 2019
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Caught my dog eating branches that has fallen from a tree

His poos were really sticky.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/alii-b
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 18 2019
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Caught my dog eating a candy bar and quickly took it away.

Now he's one ruthless son of a bitch.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Supremeleaderbestkor
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 04 2018
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My dog acted like he hadn't been eating out of the cats' litter box...

...but I could tell he was full of shit

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 52
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Asmor
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 29 2014
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I sent my parents a picture of me shaming my dog for eating a 5 dollar bill

My dad said she had expensive taste

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 184
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/yimjames
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 31 2015
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My dog wouldnt stop eating the furniture so I decided to put him down.

This morning I called him fat and said he had no friends.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RandomDrunk88
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 23 2018
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Eating a free hot dog.

Friend: How does it taste?

Me: Quite good, frankly.

Friend: Do you practice puns?

And that's the proudest I've ever felt.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/highlander24
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 28 2014
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Why did the ducks eat the dog?

Because it was pure bread

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BeatsbyChrisBrown
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 11 2021
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I think not letting my dog eat water melon is makings her sad.

She's a little melancholy.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/theMeatman7
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 21 2021
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In a dog eat dog world

every dog goes canineballistic

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/otherbanana1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 28 2021
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What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?

A dog with a bark worse than its bite.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Hour_Scarcity
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 08 2020
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What do dogs eat for breakfast?

Woofles.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 36
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FarsideSC
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 22 2019
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If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ToastyZ71
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 12 2021
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What do you call a dog that eats other dogs?

A caninbal.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 75
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ovidianu
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 10 2019
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It's A Dog Eat Dog World
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Drinkingink
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 05 2019
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How do you get a hipster to eat a hot dog?

Put it in a man bun!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/smolprincess928
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 18 2019
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Ever heard of the buffet that lets you eat free if you bring your welsh cattle dog?

I hear its a real corgishborg.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cutty-the-cuttlefish
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 26 2019
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I have to stop taking my dog to the park, all the ducks keep trying to eat him

I guess that's what I get for buying a pure-bred

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/pooka_pook
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 30 2019
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It would suck not being able to eat bread :')
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DarknesTheElite
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 23 2021
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Have you heard of the dogs that eat metal?

They're ferrousius.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tr4ckh3d
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 24 2019
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What does an Italian dog eat?

Dog Ciao.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/IshtakStern
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 15 2018
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Hyper dog tries to eat batteries

At work we have a policy where you can bring your dog. Today Frank the dog was in the office. He is a super hyper dog all day long. During the day someone was changing out the batteries in the keyboard and Frank was trying to get the old batteries. Franks owner pulled him away and said no you donโ€™t eat batteries. This was the point I spoke up and dropped the bomb.

โ€œFrank, you donโ€™t need batteries. Youโ€™re already charged up enoughโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Broncothrow
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 11 2019
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Sitting at the dinner table, (kid) can dogs eat corn? (Wife) No because they will turn into corn dogs (dad) that was corny
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Kyler232
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 21 2018
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What's the name of that dog that likes to eat other dogs? Oh thats right, it's the...
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/GaryFahrenheit
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 19 2018
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What bone does a dog not eat?

A trombone.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Marekatrek
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 11 2017
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I eat my hot dogs cold

no bun intended

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bonerwashington
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 15 2014
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It's a dog eat dog world out there...

In other words, life is ruff.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ScoopskyPotatos
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 05 2015
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Wife: The dog can not eat an entire heirloom tomato.

Me: Well of course not, those are meant to be passed down.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dandaman184
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 02 2017
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Why did the exterminator let his dogs eat steak for dinner?

He lets the pesticides

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Nomorepleaseno
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 29 2015
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I'll agree
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TripleH6699
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 10 2021
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Watching some movie where a bunch of dog sledders end up having to eat the dogs

He points to the cats and goes

"If we eat them it'll be a cat-astrophe!"

Ugh

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Rybaka1994
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 02 2014
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Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditions it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rhena_lahrie
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 19 2020
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My dad made his first dad joke in a long time

For context: we have a vegetable garden and a dog named Max

During dinner, my mom remarked how her stir fry was made almost entirely out of vegetables from our garden except the eggs, to which my dad said โ€œwell then weโ€™ll just have to raise some chickens.โ€

I reply, โ€œwell what about Max?โ€, implying that he might attack the chickens.

And without hesitation my dad replies, โ€œwell he canโ€™t lay eggsโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 746
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Asian_dodo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 11 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

show more
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Did you hear about the guy who had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks?

Bad minton.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/milchhmann
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What do dogs eat for breakfast?

Pup-Tarts.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ItsKilLikeMine
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 06 2019
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What do dogs eat for breakfast?

Woofles.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ScottyUrb
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 09 2017
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What bone won't a dog eat?

A trom-bone.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NewGenRain
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 26 2014
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

show more
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HornyBastard37484739
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

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