What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing Taxis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadrantbiz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Wood you say my dog is ok?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THMFL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

Its a shitzu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kstone333
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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Why should you never go for a jog if it is raining cats and dogs outside?

You might step in a poodle!

(from my 70 year old uncle)

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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What's the dog breed that is addicted to internet?

The CYBERian husky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Inside of a dog, it's much too dark to read.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/antiviolins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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What is a dogs favourite kind of water?

Ruff seas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IllusiveShad0ws
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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My dog is huge but he isn’t very good-looking, smart or obedient.

I suppose you could call him a Good Dane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StandbyBigWardog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Found what Up Dog is.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ooga_tater
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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A policeman told me my dog is chasing people on a bike.

I told him my dog doesn't even have a bike.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

....

It was a shitzu.

EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gomass4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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I think not letting my dog eat water melon is makings her sad.

She's a little melancholy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theMeatman7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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What kind of dog is made of different materials?

Polymeranians

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Basahn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Man: β€œAre you certain this dog you’re selling me is loyal?”

Owner: β€œOf course he sure is. I’ve sold him five times, and every time he comes back.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance?

Because they have two left feet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_dance_with_fire
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What is the difference of a dog and a can of baked beans?

Well you see, the resemblance is un-canny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Backthrasher
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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My weiner dog is so lazy...

Not much dash in that hound

Credit u/themayanacockandlips on r/aww

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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If Spiderman's secret identity is Peter Parker, what's his dog's secret identity?

Peter Barker

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_love_monkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What is an Italian person's favorite kind of dog?

Chow..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bishop825
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, β€œhere is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, β€œare you a vet?”

He said, β€œvet? I’m fucking soaking”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rohanlahiri05
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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What kind of dog always knows what is going on?

Aware wolf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/numberthu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My dog's name is holmes

So when I'm at work he's Holmes alone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aud_sips
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Is a hot dog a sub or a sandwich?

It’s just a hot dog. No bun intended.

Posted at r/jokes but someone told me to post here. Guess I’m officially old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/treflipallday
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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My 4y olds temp is a bit high this morning so I told her she was as sick as a dog we have to take her to the vet.

She was a bit scared a very confused until we showed up at grandmas house as usual. Happy Veterans Day to my mom and those who served ! and thanks to all of you that are AD | NAD | TRS | TAMP for your service.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coloredboyadvance
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines

They're subwoofers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Intrepidity87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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My dog is magic!

It's a Labracadrabrador

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goldygold2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.

I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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My friend is annoyed because his dog keeps trying to pick fights with dogs five times his size.

I told him he shouldn’t have adopted that Cocky Spaniel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaLiquidX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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What is going through carwash with windows down and dog in back seat?

Carpet cleaning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Every dog is a therapy dog...

Most just do it pro-bone-o

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πŸ‘€︎ u/readergirl132
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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What is common between a dog and a tree?

Bark

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnwaynedahmer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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My family has been getting stir crazy. So we decided to take our son to the local zoo. Problem is, it’s a small zoo. They only have one animal. It’s a dog.

It’s a real Shih Tzu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reepicheep08
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What do you do when your dog is choking?

The caninelich manoeuvre!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhwtyhotep
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Out air conditioning just went out, it's 81Β°F in the house. My dog is looking at me like...

"This is not cool..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPossible
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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What is the medical diagnosis for owning too many dogs?

Roverdose

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jelly_frijole
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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I guess I am in-vested in my dog since she is in a vest v.redd.it/4r68kwgyvjt41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivytheblindhusky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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My dog is angry because he can’t operate the MRI machine....

But the Catscan!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaysStays
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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A man walks into a zoo and the only animal inside is a dog.

It’s a Shih Tzu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

It's a shitzu (Shih Tzu).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

(credit: Groucho Marx)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4-8Newday
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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It is raining cats and dogs outside.

I almost stepped in a poodle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/modernalchemist2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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A guy walks into a zoo but the only thing in it is a dog

It’s A Shitzu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeR3b
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmak13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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A man walks into a zoo and the only animal there is a dog.

It's a shitzu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allthegods
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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