I had to use the bathroom. Couldn’t believe someone dropped a deuce right on the floor.
Eating more fresh vegetables makes you an expert pooper. It's right in the name.
Pro deuce
Many people are unaware that Sherlock Holmes is based on Doctor Joseph Bell
In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.
I had to break up with my tennis-playing girlfriend
Love meant nothing to her.
Why didn't the tennis player want a wife?
Because love means nothing to him.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
If you work at a grocery store and you pooped on company time
You took a pro-deuce
My friend will be leaving prison on 2/22/2022.
On his release, he'll be saying, "Deuces!"
Dadjokes in the bathroom
When I walk into a bathroom and all the stalls are occupied, I make sure to say out loud "Full house beats a flush!"
If I'm lucky I can get a muted chuckle from one of the stalls.
TIL that fruits and vegetables can help prevent constipation
I guess that's why they call it pro-deuce.
Tom's Swifties... Wicked.
"There are no two's in this deck." Tom de-deuced. "You're burning the candle from both ends." Tom said wickedly. "I dropped my toothpaste." Tom said Crestfallen.
