and after a second, "For a moment there I thought it was the horse."
Arrrrrrrrthritis.
He dreads locking it.
Then it grew on me. finger guns
No one will be crossing the finish line
It's the hardest one to pass.
The bear asks the rabbit, "You ever have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says, "No."
So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit...
But after years of therapy, I've managed to conker it.
I’m already dreading it.
There's no atmosphere.
I got a bogie up my nose. It wheely hurt.
They dread lox.
I was the only one there in sandals and a bathrobe
It was dreadful.
I have cinnamon dread
I'm dreading it
Poor Red,
Poor Red whines,
Pour red wine,
Pour red wine to mend Red's mind.
Mind the wine that ends Red's whine.
Find the time to send more wine.
For poor Red's whine, we pour more wine.
We dread the time when poor Red whines.
So basically I own a Bookshop and I'm wanting to have a Book joke board, so please send me your jokes that I can write on it (credit will be given, needs to be family friendly)
I’m dreading it.
We had a friend in town this weekend whose flight was this afternoon, so she was staying at the house for a while after my wife and I left for work. About halfway through my commute I was overtaken by a terrible sense of dread and panic that I forgotten to flush the toilet and our friend was going to come face to face with a semi-fresh dookie when she went to the restroom.
I was so mortified at this that I preemptively texted her to warn her and requested that she please, for both our sake's, flush the toilet prior to lifting the lid. We may never know whether I needed to send that text-- it was a real Schrodinger Scat situation.
This is sort of a TIFU, but I have no idea if I actually did and I'm not sure she would have the heart to tell me anyway.
I'm dreading it…
The waiter walks over and gives him a glass of water.
The man, being dreadfully thirsty, drinks it all in one gulp. He them calls out to the waiter for another
"Excuse me for the trouble, but I'm terribly thirsty. Could I have another glass of water?"
The waiter returns and refills his glass. He turns away to serve another table, when a small cough comes from behind him.
"I'm so awfully sorry, but could I get another refill?"
The waiter of course obliges, and turns to wait the next table, when the same thing happens again.
Frustrated by the man, the waiter walks up and tells him
"Take a pitcher, it will last longer."
Dad: Yikes, so now I understand your ... aroma. Can you resume washing your hair at least?
16-year old Daughter: I can't. I'm dreading my hair.
Dad: That makes two of us!
And every year I've dreaded it.
I'm dreading it.
It’s dreadful
It goes where no man has gone before in search of the dreaded Klingons
Because eclipse.
I'm already dreading it.
Talking about the expensive healthcare
Dad "you need to change your major to become a doctor".
Me "I don't have the patience for that".
Dad "you would if you became a doctor".
Facepalm.
This is the dreaded Many Paws stage
As a matter of fact, I’m dreading it.
Tom Braidy! I'm sorry, that was dreadful.
Dreadful.
Drawing professor: You know, it's Jamaican hairstyle day on Friday. Us: What? What is that? Professor: I don't know, but I dread it.
I'm still cracking up.
...my hair is now dreadful.
He says he's dreading it.
I dadjoked my friend today.
I'm introducing her to the show "Penny Dreadful". I told her that the show is really great except for the name, which in my opinion, was horribly cheap.
shit eating grin ensues
New Year's Day... The start of a fresh 365 sunrises that symbolize a turning point in lifestyle and spending the entire day recovering from a dreadful hangover. Like many other people in America, this relatively fake holiday is a time that I spend with my family. One of my family's many traditions (alongside annihilating plates of buffalo wings and watching college football until we pass out on the couch) is watching the Rose Parade. At the very beginning of the event, before all of the flower-covered floats and high school bands came marching down the street, there was an introductory ceremony complete with a B-2 stealth bomber flyover. As soon as they passed by, zooming out of the camera's frame, my dad leans in closer to me and says "Well I sure didn't see that coming!"
I did laundry earlier (the dreaded task) and afterward I was putting it up. When I was just about done, I noticed there was only one sock left. I said to my roommate "Never fails. I always lose a sock when doing laundry." Then a second or two later I lifted a shirt up and the missing sock fell out. I then said "Would you look at that? It's the last sock. I guess you could say that was a socking revelation." Even I groaned slightly because of that one.
And I’m already dreading it.
I'm dreading it
I'm dreading it.
